Crit Mess in July: A Dynamic History of the Time Criterion Didn't Make Announcements on the 15th, 16th, or 17th

[bainbridgezu]

Armageddon is upon us! This is just in!

“Things are in disarray at the headquarters! Criterion staff is nowhere to be seen. Not even the always available Job Mulvaney! Upon inspection the Criterion Closet, the grail of all grail rooms has been cleaned out pretty much completely by a mob of angry and hot (aka. sweaty) Criterion customers. All is left is two Jellyfish Eyes and one Tiny Furniture. DVDs”

Even in an apocalyptic scenario, I refuse to believe one more person wanted Tiny Furniture than Jellyfish Eyes.

[domino harvey]

Only boxsets with no spine numbers, thus extending the wait for #1000 another month

I mean, we’re going to be making jokes about Spine 1000 speculation long after it’s actually announced, so this will have a lateral effect on the forum either way!

[McNulty]

Jonathan Keogh on Twitter: “literally just hit send on gmail folks. soon....soon...”

lol

[movielocke]

insert gif from PCU here

my work computer just crashed so I hit refresh







and nothing.

[domino harvey]

Armageddon is upon us! This is just in!

“Things are in disarray at the headquarters! Criterion staff is nowhere to be seen. Not even the always available Job Mulvaney! Upon inspection the Criterion Closet, the grail of all grail rooms has been cleaned out pretty much completely by a mob of angry and hot (aka. sweaty) Criterion customers. All is left is two Jellyfish Eyes and one Tiny Furniture. DVDs”

Even in an apocalyptic scenario, I refuse to believe one more person wanted Tiny Furniture than Jellyfish Eyes.

Remember when there was one copy of Tiny Furniture? That’s when Jesus was carrying you

[Newsnayr]

The question is whether this thread will get to 100 pages before Spine 1000 is announced

[criterionoop]

At this point, they are probably cleaning up the office. Dusting the shelves. Restocking the Bort nametags.

[thatobscurecharm]

Someone remind me to stop refreshing criterion’s website by the time spine #1500 and #2000 come around.

[Forrest Taft]

The question is whether this thread will get to 100 pages before Spine 1000 is announced

It’s already at 1993. On Tapatalk. Will it reach 2000?

[domino harvey]

Someone remind me to stop refreshing criterion’s website by the time spine #1500 and #2000 come around.

Your robot butler will be able to do it for you by then

[mfunk9786]

Stuck in traffic as expected, though not going slowly enough that I can photoshop the forum into one of those "this is the last text he sent" memes

[Never Cursed]

1 hour 1 minute late

[flyonthewall2983]

[McNulty]

Titles are up:

Prince of Tides
Columbus by ::kogonada::
Bodies, Rest & Motion
Border Radio upgrade

[domino harvey]

1 hour 1 minute late

At 2 hours and 1 minute, we all retrieve and use our concealed cyanide capsule

[Self]

I'll make sure to have my proper Nikes on

[bainbridgezu]

1 hour 1 minute late

At 2 hours and 1 minute, we all retrieve and use our concealed cyanide capsule

Brother, ain't that the tooth

[Graphist]

Shame on Criterion for not announcing on the 15th!

Shame on us for believing it will be announced on the 16th!

Not announcing on the 17th?! Thanks, Obama!

[FrauBlucher]

I’ll be back taking a short break to watch a Lav Diaz film.

[bainbridgezu]

Shame on Criterion for not announcing on the 15th!

Shame on us for believing it will be announced on the 16th!

Not announcing on the 17th?! Thanks, Obama!

Ron Howard's upcoming Hillbilly Elegy confirmed for Spine #1000

[justeleblanc]

Titles are up:

Prince of Tides
Columbus by ::kogonada::
Bodies, Rest & Motion
Border Radio upgrade

Where?

[FrauBlucher]

Oh you fell for it

[Lemdog]

Titles are up:

Prince of Tides
Columbus by ::kogonada::
Bodies, Rest & Motion
Border Radio upgrade

Where?

I admit it, this made me laugh.

[justeleblanc]

FFS. Thanks.

[Omensetter]

Criterion is apparently putting as much thought into that internet video essay than their Cluny Brown cover.