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Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:43 am
by Michael Kerpan
TheDudeAbides wrote:Its like Armond specifically reacts in opposition to everyone else just to get a rise out of people
Why would you EVER think that?
(The existence of this ever-growing thread is almost entirely due to the phenomena you just mentioned).
;~}
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:02 pm
by HistoryProf
TheDudeAbides wrote:knives wrote:Cage and Reeves are good actors though (and in the case of Reeves seems like a very nice person). No need to do an Armond to diss White.
Ugh you're totally right I did just pull an "Armond" in my dissing of Armond White. I shouldn't have been trolling those actors... and I'm actually someone who appreciates a good nic cage performance; like his performance in Wild at Heart, Raizing Arizona, Matchstick Men, Adaptation, Lord of War, The Weather Man and Bad Lieutenant POCNO. I guess its just my own perception of Cage's lack of 'choosiness' when picking movies to be (for example Season of the Witch, Bangkok Dangerous, Ghost Rider, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Next, Knowing, National Treasure, and The Wicker Man) in that led me to single him out in my troll diss.
But back to Armond. What I meant to illustrate was that Armond seems to appreciate things that are bad (like Ghost Rider, and Neveldine and Taylor) while putting down and trolling the things that are great (like Michael Fassbender and his performance as David in Prometheus). Its like Armond specifically reacts in opposition to everyone else just to get a rise out of people
the fact that he singles out the ONE thing everyone could agree was great - Fassbender's performance - in order to inexplicably declare the guy exemplificaterizes "crap cinema" is proof positive that he deliberately trolls in each and every review he writes. He of course knows that David is the shining light of the film, that Fassbender's performance was incredibly nuanced and yet another brilliant showing by him - so he has to shit on it to maintain his anti-everything good cred (and also deliberately insert A.I. into the "not a real boy" reference even though it is clearly only a Pinocchio reference - but of course everything bad in cinema is a blasphemous insult to Spielberg's canon).
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:11 pm
by mfunk9786
I mean... he played an android. It was a pretty good performance, but it's silly to heap hyperbole on it. Not to defend White too much, but I think he was trying to say that Fassbender's projects aren't his cup of tea, not that he's an all-around bad actor or makes those films awful by osmosis.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:03 pm
by domino harvey
Opening line to White's
Snow White and the Huntsmen review:
Why should we be watching commercials director Rupert Sanders’ film Snow White and the Huntsman when Romain Gavras’ No Church in the Wild music video for Kanye West begs our attention?
He also walked out on
Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding, but despite his claims that he wouldn't "review" it, he still gets his digs in
here (And how obnoxious is his
Your Sister's Sister abbreviation?)
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:19 pm
by mfunk9786
YS(2) = Y x X - (3S/4Y)
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:13 pm
by HistoryProf
He actually uses "sexes" as a verb for coitus in a review. that's amazing. I also like the supremely hypocritical "Indie-snob arrogance" - which is of course much worse than "Spielberg/Neveldine-Taylor butt sniffing arrogance." But this is just beyond ridiculous:
As videographed by Benjamin Kasulke, YS(2)’s is the most visually unappealing movie since the days when indie pioneer Gary Winick lost his light meter. Scene after scene is murkily underlit and uninterestingly composed–no surprise, Shelton has also “directed” an episode of the visually dismal Mad Men TV series. Digital-photography has improved amazingly (as in Josh Trank’s remarkable Chronicle), yet YS(2) is literally unwatchable.
Everything I've heard about YSS (Seriously, that's even easier to fucking type) is that it's sensitively directed with surprising subtlety and depth. Never mind that Mad Men is one of the most visually arresting dramas in TV history, whose attention to detail will never be matched. I just don't understand why he insists on doing this week after week. what does he gain from trolling every good movie that comes out? (I'll give him Peace, Love and Misunderstanding, however...a few friends saw and said it was not good. not good at all.)
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 4:32 pm
by knives
Without seeing the film in question the quoted blurb doesn't seem bad to mean and his worst tendencies with regards to prose seem to be reduced too.
The Day the Clown Cried is literally unwatchable.
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 4:44 pm
by Gregory
"literally unwatchable"? Just when one thinks a bad habit of language has been ridiculed out of existence, at least in writing that's supposedly been edited ...
(Not to blame this on the editors, though -- see
my earlier comments on that.)
Re: The Day the Clown Cried is literally unwatchable.
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:36 pm
by Mr Sausage
Gregory wrote:"literally unwatchable"? Just when one thinks a bad habit of language has been ridiculed out of existence, at least in writing that's supposedly been edited ...
(Not to blame this on the editors, though -- see
my earlier comments on that.)
And he says it of the movie he
didn't walk out on.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:54 pm
by zedz
I find Ernst Lubitsch's The Patriot literally unwatchable.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 10:41 am
by NABOB OF NOWHERE
I find Andy Milligan's Nightbirds literally barely watchable
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 11:11 am
by The Narrator Returns
I find R.E.M's Nightswimming literally highly listenable.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:07 pm
by mfunk9786
I find Popcorn Indiana literally snackable
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:42 pm
by domino harvey
I find these mysteries literally unsolvable
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:04 am
by wattsup32
A sort of funny aside: My wife has no idea who Armond White is. After reading the last few posts I told her called Mad Men visually dismal. Without skipping a beat and having no familiarity the man whatsoever, she says with sincere concern in her voice, "Maybe he doesn't know what dismal means."
I literally (yeah, I said it) laughed out loud.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:58 am
by Gregory
LLOL?
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:05 pm
by wattsup32
LLOL indeed. I couldn't help it because 1) how astute of her to surmise everything that may well be true about our hero from one tiny fragment of one review, and 2) she seemed to genuinely feel sorry the guy. It was too adorable and really gets at the heart of why she's a much better person than I am and why I love her.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:30 am
by HistoryProf
domino harvey wrote:
I find these mysteries literally unsolvable
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:59 am
by bamwc2
The Sandler Memo. As the ghost of Andrew Breitbart says,
You'll want to read it all.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:09 am
by cdnchris
I tried to read it all, but I couldn't get past "in his continuing series of unexpectedly challenging human comedies"
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:14 am
by The Narrator Returns
I'm not sure what I find worse; the actual article or the showing of support in the comments.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:27 am
by domino harvey
Every Armond White review wrote:It's good because it's bad.
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:13 am
by domino harvey
Also, this happened:
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:56 am
by tajmahal
How is this man regarded within the industry? Is he just a pet project for this forum, or is he widely syndicated and 'respected' by his peers?
His writing seems designed to champion and defend the non-consensus view, no matter how absurd the notion. Has the extraordinary growth of blogs, forums, twitter etc. given him a voice and following that he would not have been able to tap into not so long ago?
Did his writing and persona change with the growth of the internet?
He is certainly an odd duck.
Is he taking the piss?
Re: The Armond White Thread
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:45 pm
by McCrutchy
Quoth the bard:
Except for the bodacious sex sketches (Champale, the middle-aged black pole-dancer with the XL pasties played by Luenell Campell contrasts the naughty Waspy grandmother played by Peggy Stewart), the best scenes in That’s My Boy show Donny and Todd’s growing warmth.
I love the all the detail and research on the stripper. So Armond likes the naughty bits (Er, I mean,
sex sketches), eh? I bet he's a Mr. Skin member, between all the nudity and sex, and the shockingly meticulous cataloging of it, something tells me he'd be right at home on that site.