Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

[Thomas Dukenfield]

Nice to see this is where an Oscar gets you now: in a barrel on the cover of a DTV Eddie Griffin vehicle with your name nowhere to be seen.

If she doesn't roll down a hill at some point I'm asking for my money back.

[colinr0380]

Or go over a waterfall.

[knives]

[feihong]

Is the type for "The Lawless" made out of wood?

[George Kaplan]

When Lazy Editors Attack! (And rely soley on IMDb):

Not such a terrible cover, actually; but the true star of the film, along with Conrad Veidt, the sublime Esther Ralston, too forgotten as it is, becomes further obscured through the insensitive impartiality of "alphabetically" correct cast listing, - the fate of Lena Smith? - while bit-player Muriel Aked is promoted to Star.

[Feego]

The worst part of that cover is the Variety quote: "... one of the best feature pictures ever made anywhere." While I guess it's real, it sounds like the summation of a 14-year-old after seeing the latest Twilight installment, and it doesn't do the film any favors.

[Ishmael]

Lifeless eyes. Like a doll's eyes.

[The Narrator Returns]

Is it just me, or does that cover look a lot like the cover for Criterion's Lady Vanishes reissue? They both have giant floating heads over a shot of a speeding train.

[Minkin]

[Gregory]

Anyone have examples of reviews manipulated or even misquoted for DVD cover pull quotes?
Here's one:
The Good Times Video cover of Earthquake:

The picture is swell... an entertaining marathon of Grade-A destruction effects... —Pauline Kael

The phrasing of Kael's actual review:

L.A. gets it. The picture is swill, but it isn't a cheat; it's an entertaining marathon of Grade-A destruction effects, with B-picture stock characters spinning through it.

...and she goes on to say other negative things about the film.

[zedz]

The worst part of that cover is the Variety quote: "... one of the best feature pictures ever made anywhere." While I guess it's real, it sounds like the summation of a 14-year-old after seeing the latest Twilight installment, and it doesn't do the film any favors.

I just assumed that the pull quote was entirely bogus, and was actually wondering if this company stuck it on the front of all of their DVDs!

That Kael Earthquake example is doubly ridiculous because the authentic part of the pull quote is surely the selling point, and the recommendation "this picture is swell" is so mild and fogeyish it sounds more counter-productive than anything.

[Jeff]

The worst part of that cover is the Variety quote: "... one of the best feature pictures ever made anywhere." While I guess it's real, it sounds like the summation of a 14-year-old after seeing the latest Twilight installment, and it doesn't do the film any favors.

I just assumed that the pull quote was entirely bogus, and was actually wondering if this company stuck it on the front of all of their DVDs!

Looks like it's real. I dug up VCI's sell sheet for a batch of Rank titles licensed from ITV (Besides Rome Express, there is a Blu-ray of J. Lee Thompson's Flame Over India/North West Frontier and few Carry On films). Here is the pertinent Variety quote about Rome Express:



Sounds like it's from an English bureau (?) of Variety, and the quote is even sillier in context!

"The technique is Continental."

[zedz]

I have a sneaking suspicion that "the technique is Continental" is going to become my go-to meaningless critique.

(And was there in fact an English bureau of Variety, or is this quote from an entirely unrelated British magazine of the same name?)

[tarpilot]

I can't find a link, but I distinctly remember some kind of promotional art for the 1997 That Darn Cat displaying a pull quote from Dennis Miller calling it "...a gas!", when what he really said was he'd "rather die in a gas chamber" than sit through the movie again

[CSM126]

I'm recalling the time A Series of Unfortunate Events was released on tape with a "Two Thumbs Up!" pull quote when from Ebert and Roeper, who actuallyg ave it thumbs down. They even called it out on the show.

[thatobscurecharm]

[knives]

That elicited some audible laughter. I guess they still don't know how to market this easy to market film.

[domino harvey]

Is he really on the cover twice

[Gregory]

No, the cover depicts Kitsch, in costume, walking up to a poster for his film and becoming very upset about it.

[dx23]

[Lemmy Caution]

Here's another sort of inexplicable concept/spoof:



The steer skull as jockstrap is rather bewildering.

[eerik]

[The Narrator Returns]

There are times when minimalist is better.

Then there's this.

[Feego]

Oh my God, that three-legged man is on fire!

[fdm]

Funny looking chariot.