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Mr_sausage wrote:So...this guy got a B.A. in film studies is what I'm being told?

That's the most frightening thing. I could understand a teenager going into college with views like that, but not after graduating. What the hell do they teach them at these places?

More like a B.S., amirite

tojoed wrote:What the hell do they teach them at these places?

Reader beware, you're in for a scare

You're right. I'd forgotten about that thread.

tojoed wrote:

Mr_sausage wrote:So...this guy got a B.A. in film studies is what I'm being told?

That's the most frightening thing. I could understand a teenager going into college with views like that, but not after graduating. What the hell do they teach them at these places?

I just don't understand how you can get through four years of writing essays on film while being completely incapable of articulating what does or does not make a film successful. 'Now I know what it might be like to meet aliens' should earn an automatic fail.

It tells you all you need to know about "Film Studies" degrees.

I just cannot understand how someone could claim a film is

a very true account of what will eventually happen

or this piece of meaningless criticism:

The acting also played a key role, as mentioned before.

Turns out if a giant comet does hit Earth, Tea Leoni will die

Mr_sausage wrote:So...this guy got a B.A. in film studies is what I'm being told?

Nah, film production. Though, if you saw his YouTube account you'd see the quality of his films are on par with his reviews.

He did write possibly the best tagline ever written though

domino harvey wrote:It was not hard to find this online and I'm sure Alphonse Doinel won't mind me posting this guy's chestnut about Schindler's List:

What is remarkable about the film, is that the majority of the movie is in black and white. This is significant to the plot in many ways. My interpretation on the black and white is that during the 1940’s it was such a dark decade in human history. So dark that the only way to show the audience this evil was to film it in black and white.

Reminds me of that chestnut of literary criticism: "The author described the grass as green because the colour green symbolises hope." (This sort of thing may be depressingly familiar to anybody who's marked student essays, so apologies in advance!)

I just graded an essay that argued that the Great Dictator was a good film because it showed that Hitler wasn't so bad

domino harvey wrote:I just graded an essay that argued that the Great Dictator was a good film because it showed that Hitler wasn't so bad

Jesus! There's no way I can top that. But I did once mark an essay discussing the use of the Sonnet form in Renaissance England that had as its central proof text...wait for it...Paradise Lost! I gave it -2% just for having to read the words "in John Milton's sonnet, Paradise Lost..." but that got changed later for obvious reasons.

I know not everyone's a fan, but I'm sure nobody will approve of this snippet from a 'professional' review.

A SERIOUS MAN is an offbeat film that could very well put you in a dark place if you’re the kind of person who over-analyzes things or thinks too much. Thankfully I’m not one of those people so I was able to take it in stride.

domino harvey wrote:I just graded an essay that argued that the Great Dictator was a good film because it showed that Hitler wasn't so bad

Sounds like your class needs an impromptu showing of Night and Fog.

domino harvey wrote:I just graded an essay that argued that the Great Dictator was a good film because it showed that Hitler wasn't so bad

Would it've gotten more points for arguing My Son John was a good film instead?

What the hell do they teach them at these places?

I fear it's not just film schools. I hereby submit from another board (which shall remain anonymous) a post that was part of a Tips on Screenwriting thread:

any writing tutor first learns that grammar matters very little
something could be grammatically perfect and content empty while something could be loaded with mistakes and bustling with great ideas.
The only tips I would have is (and I admit I have only been paid as a short story writer) to write a treatment first, ask advice often and know that it is never actually finished, just due

And the same chap's follow-up:

I worked as a writing tutor at the university level
I meant (perhaps not worded correctly) that if someone can in with a paper
I would first tackle the ideas, how the paragraphs flowed, how it all came back to the thesis
once the ideas were in place then the grammar patterns are dealt with
if a student came in a day before the paper was due (ofen the case) we would likely only have time to go thru the content. Teachers grade much harsher on lapses in content than lapses in grammar.

TMDaines wrote:It tells you all you need to know about "Film Studies" degrees.

I think it tells you all you need to know about the state of the American education system. As a teacher at a well regarded 4 year university, I'm continually astonished at the staggering proportion of my students who can't write a proper sentence, let alone a 5 page paper on a single topic. Although the topics are historical instead of film, I have to read tripe like this kid's idiotic ramblings every week. I don't and never will understand it...a frightening number of people don't think being able to write is a meaningful skill - why should I have to write a coherent argument on anything if I'm going to be a physical therapist/chemistry major/etc etc etc?

Alphonse Doinel wrote:

Mr_sausage wrote:So...this guy got a B.A. in film studies is what I'm being told?

Nah, film production. Though, if you saw his YouTube account you'd see the quality of his films are on par with his reviews.

He did write possibly the best tagline ever written though

=D> =D>

HarryLong wrote:

What the hell do they teach them at these places?

I fear it's not just film schools. I hereby submit from another board (which shall remain anonymous) a post that was part of a Tips on Screenwriting thread:

any writing tutor first learns that grammar matters very little
something could be grammatically perfect and content empty while something could be loaded with mistakes and bustling with great ideas.
The only tips I would have is (and I admit I have only been paid as a short story writer) to write a treatment first, ask advice often and know that it is never actually finished, just due

And the same chap's follow-up:

I worked as a writing tutor at the university level
I meant (perhaps not worded correctly) that if someone can in with a paper
I would first tackle the ideas, how the paragraphs flowed, how it all came back to the thesis
once the ideas were in place then the grammar patterns are dealt with
if a student came in a day before the paper was due (ofen the case) we would likely only have time to go thru the content. Teachers grade much harsher on lapses in content than lapses in grammar.

this bastard must work at our university center. Imagine my surprise last fall when I asked a flustered girl who couldn't understand why she got a C- if she had ever considered using the writing center and she instantly replied "I did....I took THIS paper there!" :headslap:

one last comment: I LOVE LOVE LOVE that he introduces his short film as

Writer, Producer, Editor and Director Michael Heuthe brings us a dramatic piece of art

my daughter keeps asking me "what's so funny?" as i'm laughing hysterically over here.

Alphonse Doinel wrote:He did write possibly the best tagline ever written though

What I really love about this is the huge gaps between the lines, because it makes it harder to keep track of the garbled syntax.

Alphonse Doinel wrote:He did write possibly the best tagline ever written though

For some reason, reading that labored, meandering tagline reminded me of one of my favorite Homer lines: "Um, can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the...things? Uh... the things?"

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

This comment from a registered reader of DVDActive on Up in the Air just killed me:

One of the rare times I actually enjoyed a film

DVDActive's comment section reads like a mental hospital's guestbook. I don't know how they managed to get the absolute stupidest DVD/BD-philes to all flock to their site, but it's absolutely painful to scroll down past a certain point on any given page.