The Jeffrey Wells Thread

[calculus entrophy]

What's most striking about the story is how banal it is for LA. It's far harder NOT to get a green card marriage to a soul sucking, money hungry parasite.

[domino harvey]

I don't remember that song in La La Land

[calculus entrophy]

I'm banging away on the keyboard right now, this ditty is writing itself

[bottled spider]

I'd like to believe SRO means senior reactor operator, per wikipedia, but I have a feeling it means Significant Russian Other.

I find his blundering, oblivious crassitude rather endearing, for about five minutes.

[The Elegant Dandy Fop]

I had a run-in with Sasha Stone a few years ago. At a old job of mine, she came in as a rude, awkward leech who wanted to harass talent from a movie. When I told her she had to leave, she insisted she was their friend and a famous critic. She seemed peeved when I told her I never heard of her and was adamant that she had to go. A very unpleasant woman.

[Gregory]

I'd like to believe SRO means senior reactor operator, per wikipedia, but I have a feeling it means Significant Russian Other.

Yes, that's right. I guess it's less awful than some of the alternatives like (from the bottom of the post) "the hank of blonde hair" (the HOBH)

I liked how he expressed his gratitude to Sasha Stone by saying "[She] woke me. She mentioned the possible rape of Nanking if I get divorced, and that sent my head into a tailspin," causing Stone to comment in order to dispute that choice of words: "I would never use that word. That's 100% Jeff." Indeed.

[tenia]

Yes, this sums up pretty much how the way of thinking is typical Wells. I actually have trouble feeling bad for him, but on the other hand, I suppose she didnt fall in love with his kind-hearted open-minded personality.

[colinr0380]

Well, he is making those big film critic bucks so this was obviously inevitable!

(Do people really refer to their relationship as having "launched back in January"? Like Steve Jobs revealing the latest Apple product?)

[tenia]

The whole article seems like he's describing the rollout of a company strategic project rather than a sentimental relationship.

[matrixschmatrix]

I don't know what you're talking about- what could be more romantic than

I know a top-grade partner when I meet one. The SRO is as good as my ex-wife Maggie in many respects.

[Black Hat]

I had a run-in with Sasha Stone a few years ago. At a old job of mine, she came in as a rude, awkward leech who wanted to harass talent from a movie. When I told her she had to leave, she insisted she was their friend and a famous critic. She seemed peeved when I told her I never heard of her and was adamant that she had to go. A very unpleasant woman.

She should be renamed Screech, just the worst.

[Gregory]

I don't know what you're talking about- what could be more romantic than

I know a top-grade partner when I meet one. The SRO is as good as my ex-wife Maggie in many respects.

From the post a week ago, announcing the planned wedding:

We’ve been shoulder-shrugging about the doubters. They might be right, but it sure doesn’t feel that way. ... If it doesn’t work out, I’ll survive. I’ll always have the column, which I’ve been married to for 18 and 1/2 years now. But I suspect it will, at least for a few years. Or maybe longer. She’s beautiful and blonde and laughs easily.

Sounds like totally solid ground for buying diamonds, which say "forever," getting married, and merging finances.

[tenia]

I don't know what you're talking about- what could be more romantic than

I know a top-grade partner when I meet one. The SRO is as good as my ex-wife Maggie in many respects.

The list of all the things he paid for her isn't far behind.

At least, this time, he won't have to ask a director to get some nudies of her.

[calculus entrophy]

It's the classic Hollywood courtship, complete with a total lack of self introspection.

1. Boy Meets Girl
2. Boy spends Money
3. Girl requests last 10 years of tax returns
4. Boy requests prenup
5. Girl Meets New Boy
6. Go to step 1.

[Perkins Cobb]

I love how all his comment-section acolytes are like, "Dude, kick that Russian you just dumped out of your apartment before she wrecks the place" instead of "You are an actual sociopath."

[calculus entrophy]

I'm just worried about the fact that he is responsible for a cat.

[matrixschmatrix]

I sincerely hope she steals the cat and also the incredible luxuries (a refurbished PowerBook! a Mini Cooper!) he tries to dazzle us with.

There is a certain logic that makes it clear she couldn't possibly actually love him, namely that he is Jeffrey Wells, and how could anyone

[Black Hat]

I love how all his comment-section acolytes are like, "Dude, kick that Russian you just dumped out of your apartment before she wrecks the place" instead of "You are an actual sociopath."

No the best part was the guy who said pay for my plane ticket and I'll go there to save your fish from her. The old con to save you from being conned trick.

[Perkins Cobb]

It's a Jim Thompson novel in which Wells is the mark and Sasha Stone, the Russian bride, and some long-suffering Hollywood Elsewhere commenter-stooge are the grifters.

[whaleallright]

This guy (who I only ever learn about through this forum) does remind me of Trump in that there's obviously something desperately wrong with him—a very basic, pervasive personality defect—but he's managed to parlay that something into a kind of success, albeit the sort of success that generates more hate than anything else. The internet—especially the proliferation of social-media celebrity—has really made me wonder how many people like this are out there, and what it means that we have a system that seemingly rewards the worst of them.

[calculus entrophy]

This guy (who I only ever learn about through this forum) does remind me of Trump in that there's obviously something desperately wrong with him—a very basic, pervasive personality defect—but he's managed to parlay that something into a kind of success, albeit the sort of success that generates more hate than anything else. The internet—especially the proliferation of social-media celebrity—has really made me wonder how many people like this are out there, and what it means that we have a system that seemingly rewards the worst of them.

I'm reminded of a word, Nar, Narciss, something - just can't quite think of it right now.

[Perkins Cobb]

We are all guilty of enabling him, yes. And I have smart friends who are even worse about sending me all the latest Wellsian nonsense (or the bon mots of similarly maladjusted Film Twitter types). Everyone would be better off if we stopped giving people like Wells and Stone attention, but sometimes you can't look away (and they probably still wouldn't go away).

[DarkImbecile]

True love conquers all

[matrixschmatrix]

Somehow the saddest part is the desperate starfuckery entailed in him posting the excerpt from the column that picked this up

[Black Hat]

It's a Jim Thompson novel in which Wells is the mark and Sasha Stone, the Russian bride, and some long-suffering Hollywood Elsewhere commenter-stooge are the grifters.

This is great!

Quick story a friend of mine told me not to long ago they met a film critic who was fun to talk to and a nice guy. Jeffrey Wells was that film critic.