'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[Floyd]

Also, I don't know if the movie-makers are looking for poster quotes, but this movie is like a pussy that eats YOU out.

Probably the high lite.

[Andre Jurieu]

I'm loving the end of that X2 review. I also love the idea that these are written by the guy who provides the voice of Pixar characters.

Come on, folks! This is peerless satire.

Man, I'm seriously laughing out loud at this stuff. Especially the "chicken truck" bit.

I think Oswalt would be flattered to hear your appreciation of his work considering your own peerless track record in the field of internet forum movie review satire.

I guess if it was meant to be satirical at least I don't have to read the reviews with a mixture of horror and pity. I'll just lump it with Borat as things meant to be horrible in a funny way that I just find horrible!

Which makes some sense since Oswalt is supposedly an uncredited writer on Borat.

[patrick]

Some of those reviews definitely sound like something that would come out of Patton Oswalt's mouth during his stand-up routine. He's one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen and he's brilliant at making up material on the spot. His latest CD has a bit about how he does "punch up" on movie scripts.

[HerrSchreck]

Wearing a cock punch glove no doubt. I guess his goal is a PTA sequel w Sandler called Punch Drunk Cock.

[jbeall]

That sounds like somebody's ripping off Maddox, who's one of the most overrated unfunny twits out there. A friend kept forwarding his rants to me until I told him in no uncertain terms that the rants all sucked. Thankfully it didn't damage our friendship, but it was a price I was prepared to pay in order to return to a state of blissful ignorance regarding Maddox's existence.

[nyasa]

Not that Domino's anti-Feng campaign is in need of ammunition, but I did enjoy this profound insight from the Arctic Tale review.

Let's hope that polar bears and walruses don't go the way of the dodo bird.

[Musashi219]

Yunda Eddie Feng will no longer be reviewing for DVDBeaver. Best of luck Eddie!

[nyasa]

Yunda Eddie Feng will no longer be reviewing for DVDBeaver. Best of luck Eddie!

Looks like he's gone the way of the 'dodo bird'.

[Svevan]

Wonder if our bitching changed things around? His Eastern Promises review has been removed.

[domino harvey]

Wonder if our bitching changed things around? His Eastern Promises review has been removed.

Check out the DVDBeaver thread, let's just say Gary from the Beav listened to the voice of reason

[souvenir]

You can't stop the Feng though.

[domino harvey]

Academia
Cornell University, 2001, BA -- English
Chapman University, 2005, MA -- Film Studies

What the shit

[patrick]

Please for the love of God someone find his thesis.

[Mr Sausage]

I know we've done Alex Jackson before, but I just had to share this bit, it had me laughing so long. It's from a review (full thing here, although I wouldn't recommend actually reading it) for one of those Ewok movies that came out in the eighties. I think I saw this one as a kid--anyway:

Yes, The Ewok Adventure is racist. It's racist against Ewoks. Especially Ewoks that don't speak English. I am not joking.

The accumulated effect of those sentences just kills me.

[domino harvey]

A search of several academic databases came up empty. However, I did find this Feng bon mot:

Perhaps you´ve heard of a little something called the French New Wave (La nouvelle vague)? During the 1960s, French cinema enjoyed a resurgence courtesy of a new generation of filmmakers who had been film critics before making films themselves. Writing for "Les Cahiers du Cinéma", these critics trumpeted the greatness of Alfred Hitchcock, American film noir/gangster flicks, and Orson Welles. When they directed their own movies, the New Wavers filled their works with "American cool".

La gimmeabreaksville, Feng

[manicsounds]

Academia
Cornell University, 2001, BA -- English
Chapman University, 2005, MA -- Film Studies

What the shit

[Magic Hate Ball]

Date Movie

If there is a God in heaven, " xo_hugs_n_kisses_xo1394" will be dead in the aisles at the premier of the next _____ Movie.

I know most people disagree with me because I've read the comments. My best friend and I cracked up so hard at this move we cried. Maby its just because we laugh at stupid things but I think that this movie is totally worth seeing if you want to have a good laugh. Its not romantic so I have no idea why its a romantic comedy. But comedy is definitely shown throughout this movie. This fat ugly girl thinks she'll end up alone for the rest of her life until one day she meets a guy at her fathers diner. She goes to "hitch" and he gives her a makeover. She goes on a reality dating show and so forth but you'll just have to watch it to find out what happens!!

"kieralee" and her friends need genetic makeovers.

This movie is so funny my friends and I thought it was the best movie ever the whole cinema was laughing out loud I went to see it another 4 times!! The reason most people probably think it's crap is because they're so used to mainstream movies and idealisms of what comedy should be about, and aren't open to different comedy styles. This movie was hilarious in many different ways. I dunno, maybe people just didn't want to watch it because there was no violence. Yes the Scary Movie quadrilogy is very unique and amusing, but that doesn't mean you have to base your opinions of every other movie apon them. The style of this movie is very well done and smart for those of you who are interested in paying attention to the plot line, which isn't half bad for a romantic comedy. If you want to watch a good, funny movie then I suggest you watch this movie, it has a lot of parodies and is very enjoyable.

"riot429" wins at low-standards limbo dancing.

Date Movie is the movie that we all need to watch. It makes you feel like a kid, which to me is a good thing. The humor is crude and if you are just going to complain about that then did you forget to read what is underneath the PG-13 logo. Contains continues crude humor. Oh also it is PG-!13! not R. Some parts are a bit strange like when they are making fun of the Paris Hilton Carl Jr. commercial, but I found it funny. Mostly the movie is making fun of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Meet the Fockers. Date Movie is great on making cameos. Ben Stiller as White Goodman, pops up in the Kill Bill scene. Lil Jon pops up too and even Carmen Electra Which is good cause it shows how much effort they put into on getting good actors to play in it. I think Date Movie is a great movie to see if you are sick of all the real Date Movies.

"maineicegirl" thinks that Epic Movie is "One of the best movies ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I loved this movie!!!!!!!!!!!! Sure everyone says "Holy cow it sucked, never see this " but I loved it. All of the crude jokes were hilarious and every part of it was funny. I rented it for my birthday party and all of my friends LOVED IT as well so I'm not alone. One of my favorite parts is the harry potter scene because it's so funny when Peter kills McGonagal, Dumbledore and Hagrid! Also when Mystique is changing herself for Peter and he says "Mono-brow, Mono-brow kingy wants a mono-brow" It's so funny!!! Sure you might say "this person is completely insane and wacked to think it was funny. But I did so ha! Also all of the people I've asked said they loved it too. So ha again!

"davearnott" thinks it's "So funny !!!!"

Epic movie: This movie is fantastic it is from 2 of the 6 creators of scary movie and I think that this movie is so funny you could die of laughter at parts.I saw this movie twice in the cinema and then bought it when it came out. It is about four orphans who win a chance of a epic adventure. It is a film you can watch time and time again and still not get sick of it and the funny bits are still funny. I t makes fun of a load of films. Some bits are really funny some bits are not so funny but still a little bit funny this is available to buy on DVD now and there is also the unrated version its a lot funnier but it has a lot more swearing in it and it is a 15 so you will have to ask your parents about that.

by G.A.

"marymckell" calls Who's Your Caddy? "great movie lots of fun"

this movie is what movies should be, funny entertaining, and good for the soul. It made me laugh, some people need to get a life, how can they think that this was not entertainment, have they forgotten why we go to the movies, it's to be entertained, not to be political, or racial. I think they need to take a look at themselves and wonder why they didn't like this movie. This was a well cast movie, the location was perfect, and the music was great, I loved the way the story came together it all tied in so well. I expect this movie to be a sleeper and come into it's own in a few weeks. The more people see this movie the more it will be understood and liked. I have seen it twice and loved it more the second time.

"bigraytizzle" joins in on the fun.

OK people you may look at this movie and think it is udder crap. well your wrong this movie is freaking hilarious i was laughing through most of the movie. It is just hilarious. I recommend seeing it. Big Boi and the crew just make this movie hilarious and just wow. People if your dissing this movie before it came out. just stop because you are just wasting your time. it is probably one of the funniest movies of the summer if not the funniest. the simpsons and rush hour are the only 2 i see as being possibly funnier than this. and yes i know rush hour 3 has yet to come out. i have yet to see simpsons. see this movie you will die laughing.

How do these people remember to breathe?

[Cold Bishop]

From the imdb boards on the Coens entitled "The Lady Killers is a master piece, anyone agree??"... A sentence I thought I'd never see...

Yep. Totally agree. Loved it. The original isn't that good really apart from Guiness. Wayans was (amazingly and surprisingly) funnier in the remake than Peter Sellers was in the original. The old lady was better, the setting was better and the script was better. I think people confuse nostalgia for quality on films like The Ladykillers.
And a dog in a gasmask will always be funny. Especially when the mask kills the dog.

[domino harvey]

I would have thought that even the biggest apologist for that movie would have recognized Wayans as the weakest link.

[MichaelB]

Bergman's Cries and Whispers, courtesy of "Rushed Limbog "process due Octember" (Screwit, MA)":

this movies is phat. I like how the characters are all rich and female. It provides a nice counterpoint to Dirty Harry were every character is scummy and male. Bergman is silly dope, son.

6 out of 21 people found this helpful, apparently.

On the other hand, I can forgive him a lot for this review of a Jeffrey Archer novel:

i love van gogh.
but this author is a paramount dillweed. He writes "A very animated gesture for a Japanese" wtf? This a boatload of terms like this, i was really surprised. "The graffiti would look bad even in harlem" yo. I am from new york, go to hell.
And there is NO interesting research. Only stuff I read that i didn't know is how many people owned certain paintings and how interesting is that, really. i guess the other did time for purjery. he should be given life for this TRASH

[Antoine Doinel]

This review of The Seventh Seal from DVDActive is particularly eye rolling. It contains this wonderful closing nugget of wisdom:

I recommend watching it at least once in your life, but is it worth buying to watch it over and over again? If you're a student of film I'd say yes. There are prime examples of important techniques from many perspectives, including lighting and foreshadowing future events that are invaluable to your education. If not, all I can do is give you this advice—if, for whatever reason, someone you don't like comes round to your house with beer and a pizza and says they want to watch a good movie, put this on. You're doing what they asked but they won't stick around for long.

[domino harvey]

This review of The Seventh Seal from DVDActive is particularly eye rolling. It contains this wonderful closing nugget of wisdom:

I recommend watching it at least once in your life, but is it worth buying to watch it over and over again? If you're a student of film I'd say yes. There are prime examples of important techniques from many perspectives, including lighting and foreshadowing future events that are invaluable to your education. If not, all I can do is give you this advice—if, for whatever reason, someone you don't like comes round to your house with beer and a pizza and says they want to watch a good movie, put this on. You're doing what they asked but they won't stick around for long.

Holy shit

[Mr Sausage]

This review of The Seventh Seal from DVDActive is particularly eye rolling. It contains this wonderful closing nugget of wisdom:

I recommend watching it at least once in your life, but is it worth buying to watch it over and over again? If you're a student of film I'd say yes. There are prime examples of important techniques from many perspectives, including lighting and foreshadowing future events that are invaluable to your education. If not, all I can do is give you this advice—if, for whatever reason, someone you don't like comes round to your house with beer and a pizza and says they want to watch a good movie, put this on. You're doing what they asked but they won't stick around for long.

Holy shit

He clearly doesn't know what would count as "important techniques" so he reached back (not far) into his mind and grabbed some stuff out of his high school english classes--where good books were good, you were told in class presentations, because of 'personification' and 'foreshadowing.'

[souvenir]

Found this gem on the Eastern Promises page at the Barnes & Noble website:

Customer Rating for this product is 3 out of 5 Awesome!!1
Udo, jewish, 12/28/2007

I actually fell asleep when I saw the film in theatres, but it was still really good. Viggo's performance was above par, as was the girl's, and the father's. All in all, a great family film...but not for the kids.

Also recommended: I know why the caged bird sings

[starmanof51]

Netflix reviews are fish in barrels, but this one in particular made me chuckle today:

I gave up on this movie after half an hour because I couldn't figure out who was related to whom in what way. Nobody seemed to be actually named YiYi. I'm sure it would reward a bit more patience, though.