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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:33 pm
by willoneill
So Seagal's ripping off Liam Neeson films now? I can't decide what I'm more excited for, the Steven Seagal Holocaust film, or the one where he plays a Jedi Knight.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:47 pm
by domino harvey
I don't think flames can go that high

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:07 pm
by flyonthewall2983
Depends on what's on fire.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:17 pm
by domino harvey
How many daughters does he have/are they made of a dry wood?

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:35 pm
by HerrSchreck
I think I may have slept with a few of them over the years.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:56 pm
by richast2
domino harvey wrote:How many daughters does he have/are they made of a dry wood?
it's a sequel to The Wicker Man.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:59 pm
by Napier
domino harvey wrote:I don't think flames can go that high
Seagal's flames generally rise higher and burn hotter than other B action stars.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:52 pm
by CSM126
domino harvey wrote:I don't think flames can go that high
Clearly you have not seen On Deadly Ground (good for you!).

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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:01 pm
by domino harvey
Gee, I don't know, this sounds pretty good
Wiki wrote:Taft takes on 15 oil roughnecks then challenges their leader, Mike to a hand-slap game, which Taft easily wins.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:08 pm
by CSM126
domino harvey wrote:Gee, I don't know, this sounds pretty good
Wiki wrote:Taft takes on 15 oil roughnecks then challenges their leader, Mike to a hand-slap game, which Taft easily wins.
They forget the part where Taft defeats all the roughnecks by kicking them in the johnson, to which they all scream (in a weirdly identical voice) "MY NUTS!!!". Also, they fail to mention that the hand slap game is near-fatal!

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:16 pm
by fiddlesticks
domino harvey wrote:Gee, I don't know, this sounds pretty good
Wiki wrote:Taft takes on 15 oil roughnecks then challenges their leader, Mike to a hand-slap game, which Taft easily wins.
#-o Where's the spoiler tags when you really need them?!?

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:34 am
by mikkelmark
I would rate On Deadly Ground as Seagals best together with Under Siege 1+2. It has a spiritual part and concerns abuse of the environment. As usual Seagal is not only special forces, he is the guy who trains them. Michael Caine is playing the evil oil company CEO, who cares only about profit. It is also funny to see Doctor Cox from Scrubs as an evil henchman.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:04 am
by CSM126
"Steven Seagal's Best"

Talk about a backhanded compliment. Also far from true. Everyone knows the first half of Out for Justice is Seagal's best movie (that second half was boring as hell though).

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:52 am
by mikkelmark
CSM126 wrote:"Steven Seagal's Best"

Talk about a backhanded compliment. Also far from true. Everyone knows the first half of Out for Justice is Seagal's best movie (that second half was boring as hell though).
I don't understand why anyone would write such a LONG negative review. Most of the text is just telling whats happening, and saying it sucks because it lacks realism. Just insert random Seagal/Van Damme/Schwarzenegger action movie from the 90' and you can slap it with the same bat.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:50 pm
by Gregory
Wiki wrote:Taft takes on 15 oil roughnecks then challenges their leader, Mike to a hand-slap game, which Taft easily wins.
This blurb brought to mind an image of the 350 lb. President Taft using hand-to-hand combat in taking on Standard Oil, with big explosions in the background. Why can't we have some historical B action flicks for a change?

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:09 am
by colinr0380
On Deadly Ground is an amazingly goofy film. The most 'deadly' part of the film for a viewer would have to be the awfully preachy environmental messages that would likely make even Al Gore run an oil tanker aground off the Alaskan coast in protest!

And I find myself alternately amused and appalled by Michael Caine's scenery chewing performance and oil-slick black hair style!

Here is The Onion's My Year of Flops entry on the film which includes representative clips of the hand slap fight, the wacky spiritual journey Seagal goes on to find his animal spirit guide (a bear, of couse!), Caine's death scene, the Scrubs guy killing someone, Billy Bob Thornton's brief appearance as cannon fodder and a mercifully brief clip of the final environmental preaching scene, reeking of hypocrisy since it is coming from the guy who has murdered more of the local population and set off more explosions in the last hour than even Bush managed to do in his future invasion of Iraq!

To get slightly back on topic of the Driven To Kill DVD cover, is this a sign that Seagal is not as nimble on his feet as he once was - that he needs to be chauffeured to his assassination jobs?

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:13 pm
by dx23
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:18 pm
by domino harvey
And an Armond White rave in 3, 2,

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:26 pm
by Cash Flagg
"'IT IS MAN that we need. A look caught with surprise can be sublime.' That's Robert Bresson quoted in Babette Mangolte's The Models of Pickpocket (showing at Anthology Film Archives), a documentary exploring the mystery of Bresson's art by interviewing the performers of his 1959 film Pickpocket 43 years later. Mangolte investigates the processes that made Bresson's films distinctive, but her inquiry into the phenomenon of film acting is a pop-art coup. It dovetails with Kadeem Hardison's remarkable performance in What Up. "

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:20 am
by manicsounds
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Is that an Asylum rip-off of Pixar?

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:50 am
by AtlantaFella
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There's an uncredited, mostly-obscured person standing behind the blonde. Everyone else appears to be staring at said uncredited person.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:01 am
by domino harvey
It appears to be part of the sell-sheet art, making the mystery person likely Corbett. Yes, I stared at the cover long enough to figure that out

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:10 am
by AtlantaFella
Ah, okay. I actually like John Corbett, but not even two of him could lure me to this one.

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:51 am
by Antoine Doinel
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:59 am
by CSM126
Legit laugh out loud for this one. "No Sequel for you". NO SHIT. It's a self-reviewing movie!