Worst DVD covers... ever! (Part Deux)

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#351 Post by **domino harvey** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:44 pm

it's the little Misfits skull next to the word "to" that really seals the deal on that one.

patrick · #352 Post by **patrick** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:19 pm

Is that the guy who plays "Sylar" on Heroes?

eez28 · #353 Post by **eez28** » Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:58 am

patrick wrote:Is that the guy who plays "Sylar" on Heroes?

No, it's Eli Roth

#354 Post by **domino harvey** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:50 am

that blurb's capitalization choices are just #-o
also let's not forget that the Godard pictured is from about 20 years before any of these films were made

colinr0380 · #355 Post by **colinr0380** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:51 am

It was simple enough to me - he must be wearing his magical sunglasses that allow him to see his future films on blank strips of celluloid.

Kinsayder · #356 Post by **Kinsayder** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 2:51 pm

I hope that's not flammable film stock.

Lemmy Caution · #357 Post by **Lemmy Caution** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:20 pm

This one stood out not for the (oh so mysterious) cover, but for the high-hokum of the tagline:

Then I went to the back of the Dvd and read the rest of the marketing ploy (it appears to be some sort of Power of Positive Thinking video seminar):

The new "extended edition" of this ground-breaking feature length movie presentation reveals The Great Secret of the universe. It has been passed throughout the ages, traveling through centuries... to reach you. This is The Secret to everything - the secret to unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have ever wanted. In this astonishing program are ALL the resources you will ever need to understand and live The Secret. For the first time in history, the world's leading scientists, authors, and philosophers will reveal The Secret that utterly transformed the lives of every person who ever knew it... Plato, Newton, Carnegie, Beethoven, Shakespeare, Einstein. Now YOU will know The Secret. And it can change your life forever.

I feel sorry for anyone who watches this or needs it, but (as with religion) if it helps someone, well great then.

jesus the mexican boi · Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:46 pm

Lemmy Caution wrote:I feel sorry for anyone who watches this or needs it, but (as with religion) if it helps someone, well great then.

This is a phenomenal bestseller -- to those millions of disaffected who are looking for "the secret" to why their lives suck ass. My personal secret? I got one of these misdelivered to my mailbox. I opened the package and returned the still-sealed disc to a local B&M store and got a Criterion movie instead. Ah, the cleansing power of confession.

#359 Post by **Mr Sausage** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:20 pm

The Secret promo wrote:The new "extended edition" of this ground-breaking feature length movie presentation reveals The Great Secret of the universe. It has been passed throughout the ages, traveling through centuries... to reach you. This is The Secret to everything - the secret to unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have ever wanted. In this astonishing program are ALL the resources you will ever need to understand and live The Secret. For the first time in history, the world's leading scientists, authors, and philosophers will reveal The Secret that utterly transformed the lives of every person who ever knew it... Plato, Newton, Carnegie, Beethoven, Shakespeare, Einstein. Now YOU will know The Secret. And it can change your life forever.

Hah! You have to love Beethoven. Assuming that he did know all about this "secret," he must have disregarded every single part of it out of sheer spite.

CSM126 · #360 Post by **CSM126** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:42 am

domino harvey wrote:also let's not forget that the Godard pictured is from about 20 years before any of these films were made

Yes, but it is the one truly iconic shot of Godard, so what do you expect?

Makes me wonder if someone will release a Malick set with this on the front, though...

Quite the cover that would be.

manicsounds · #361 Post by **manicsounds** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:35 am

Which is Zachary Quinto and which is Eli Roth?

#362 Post by **domino harvey** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:37 am

manicsounds wrote:

This man has had sex with Rosario Dawson.

Via_Chicago · #363 Post by **Via_Chicago** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 5:16 am

domino harvey wrote:
manicsounds wrote:
This man has had sex with Rosario Dawson.

Was this before or after Hostel II?

Cold Bishop · #364 Post by **Cold Bishop** » Wed Nov 21, 2007 5:25 am

domino harvey wrote:This man has had sex with Rosario Dawson.

Wow.... from Salman Rushdie to Eli Roth... Rosario Dawson's Vagina: Where High and Low Culture Meet.

...and I wonder why we don't have more female members.

dx23 · #365 Post by **dx23** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:18 am

#366 Post by **domino harvey** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 3:22 am

Someone needs their Photoshop filters revoked.

dx23 · #367 Post by **dx23** » Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:05 am

Studios aren't even trying to produce a decent cover anymore. I don't think that they are even hiring graphic designers anymore.

#368 Post by **domino harvey** » Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:18 am

More like Barry Man-it-blows
More like Crappy Days

skuhn8 · #369 Post by **skuhn8** » Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:21 am

I think the studios are starting to recognise that bad covers get more press than good covers. Another marketing channel.

godardslave · #370 Post by **godardslave** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 1:32 am

Damn, you beat me on the Barry Manilow Cover.
What a surreal nightmare that cover is. #-o

godardslave · #371 Post by **godardslave** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 1:34 am

domino harvey wrote:More like Barry Man-it-blows
More like Crappy Days

More like crappy puns.
(I think you are funny really).

Kinsayder · #372 Post by **Kinsayder** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 3:03 am

There are many reasons to hate that Barry Manilow cover (9 in fact), but it's grade A catnip to a Manilow fan.

patrick · #373 Post by **patrick** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 3:44 am

Also in regards to The Secret, we got a copy in at work because tons of middle-aged women were requesting it and I had to turn it off as soon as there was some sort of cosmic genie telling me to write down my deepest desires.

jbeall · #374 Post by **jbeall** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 4:15 am

patrick wrote:Also in regards to The Secret, we got a copy in at work because tons of middle-aged women were requesting it and I had to turn it off as soon as there was some sort of cosmic genie telling me to write down my deepest desires.

One of my friends burned a copy for me, and after ten minutes... I burned his copy. Literally.

Seriously, what a load of hooey. The universe is organized according to the principle of "like attracts like"??? Apparently somebody's never heard of MAGNETS. =;

HerrSchreck · #375 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 12:27 pm

dx23 wrote:

Is this the first time that eclipse used black in their packaging? Seriously, this release look soooo eclipse.

But as the Manilow looks like poodle-poop and eclipses look kool as hell, it just shows what a little fucking sense of Advertising Composition is!

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Worst DVD covers... ever! (Part Deux)