Worst DVD covers... ever! (Part Deux)

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davebert · #951 Post by **davebert** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:36 pm

Shit, I want an AK-47 that shoots blow...

#952 Post by **domino harvey** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:02 pm

The gun shoots powdered donut bullets

davebert · #953 Post by **davebert** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:21 pm

I'd take that, too.

dx23 · #954 Post by **dx23** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:52 am

The people at Asylum really have brass balls:

CSM126 · #955 Post by **CSM126** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:01 am

I always knew the Asylum was the brass standard of home entertainment, but the reunion of Insane Clown Posse and Raven gives me a better analogy: They are to DVD what WCW was to wrestling. That's too perfect.

#956 Post by **domino harvey** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:06 am

They're right, ordinary high schools have gravity

HerrSchreck · #957 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:37 am

Antoine Doinel wrote:

So this teaches how to protect yourself against rogue gun-toting SWAT officers?

No it apparently teaches you how to keep frumpy young housewives in stretchies--in their best sinister "hai-yah!" attack pose-- at bay with way too much heavy weaponry and kevlar.

colinr0380 · #958 Post by **colinr0380** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:53 am

domino harvey wrote:They're right, ordinary high schools have gravity

They obviously look so happy because their religion has just disproved the laws of gravity!

HerrSchreck wrote:No it apparently teaches you how to keep frumpy young housewives in stretchies--in their best sinister "hai-yah!" attack pose-- at bay with way too much heavy weaponry and kevlar.

We may laugh but Guantanamo is probably full of these dangerous characters in the same uniforms.

I'll leave you to decide whether I'm talking about the heavily armed cop or the martial arts woman in clothes that are obviously meant to have a demoralising effect on her psyche. Forget orange jumpsuits!

Or is it an updated Hai Karate commercial?

HerrSchreck · #959 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:59 pm

Ha-WAH! (chop)

#960 Post by **swo17** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:12 pm

kaujot · #961 Post by **kaujot** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:13 pm

Antoine Doinel · #962 Post by **Antoine Doinel** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:14 pm

Judging by the tagline, the film is about a gay man who comes out of the closet as a fat girl.

kaujot · #963 Post by **kaujot** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:15 pm

"Big-Hearted" cracks me up. But then, I'm an awful person.

#964 Post by **Matt** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:56 pm

There is a whole new line of these:

#965 Post by **swo17** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:22 pm

I no longer love the '80s.

fdm · #966 Post by **fdm** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:32 pm

swo17 wrote:I no longer love the '80s.

Never did.

Antoine Doinel · #967 Post by **Antoine Doinel** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:36 pm

Nothing captures King David quite like hot pink.

dx23 · #968 Post by **dx23** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:16 pm

#969 Post by **domino harvey** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:19 pm

That makes me hungry for a, yes, you guessed it, a cheeseburger.

HerrSchreck · #970 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:33 pm

Matt wrote:There is a whole new line of these:

You gotta warn me with this shit-- I hate puking on my keyboard like this..

Kinsayder · #971 Post by **Kinsayder** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:28 pm

We need a poll. Richard Gere: smooth or hairy?

kidc85 · #972 Post by **kidc85** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 9:27 pm

On top of being a stupidly boring cover that looks like it was assembled Clip Art-style, the advertising text in the scroll is the icing on the cake.

"Full-Length Classic Original Film" translates into the ground-breaking practice of "We've Included The Movie"

"Lyric Book" translates into "We've Printed The Subtitles And Stapled Them Together"

With extras like that who hasn't rushed out to buy "Disney's 31st Animated Classic"? That's the text on the back cover incidentally, for those people who didn't realise that every single movie Disney have ever produced is a certifiable "Animated Classic". At least other DVD companies go to the trouble of registering with IMDb to create a review quote to make it vaguely seem like it's not them saying that their movie is awesome. Telling people that every movie you have ever made is a classic strikes me as a bit... arrogant? Misplaced? Completely fucking wrong?

subliminac · #973 Post by **subliminac** » Sat Jul 26, 2008 11:33 pm

colinr0380 wrote:It seems to me like it is this (bad cover in its own right):

"Close your eyes and pucker up Jimmy."

JargonSmith · #974 Post by **JargonSmith** » Sun Jul 27, 2008 4:29 am

Matt wrote:There is a whole new line of these:

I'm having Trapper Keeper flashbacks.

#975 Post by **Matt** » Sun Jul 27, 2008 5:14 am

JargonSmith wrote:I'm having Trapper Keeper flashbacks.

Oh lord, there are at least 40 of these covers.

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Worst DVD covers... ever! (Part Deux)