Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

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#1 Post by **Mr Sausage** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:25 pm

At fifty pages, the other thread has become pretty unweildy, so here's a fresh start. You can find the other thread (going back more than a year) here.

Barmy · #2 Post by **Barmy** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:53 pm

tavernier · #3 Post by **tavernier** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:16 pm

perfect cover for that movie

Barmy · #4 Post by **Barmy** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:25 pm

I have a feeling you authored the following amazon review:

I LOVE PAMELA ANDERSON. I LOVE DENISE RICHARDS. I DID NOT LOVE THIS MOVIE AT ALL. IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THIS MOVIE SINCE I HEARD ABOUT IT BEING MADE BUT I WAS REALLY LET DOWN. BOTH ACTRESSES LOOK AMAZING BUT THE SCRIPT IS HORRIBLE AND THE LAUGHS CAN NOT BE FOUND ANYWHERE. MY SUGGESTION IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE IT--RENT IT DONT BUY IT!!!! TRUST ME--I BOUGHT IT AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK

tavernier · #5 Post by **tavernier** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:48 pm

BUSTED!!!!!

colinr0380 · #6 Post by **colinr0380** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:03 am

Otherwise known as Worst DVD Covers...ever: The Final Insult!

(Perhaps the fourth volume could be called Now That's What I Call Worst DVD Covers!)

Someone has to make the pun, so... Anamorph? Ick.

#7 Post by **domino harvey** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:01 am

Without Clea Duvall and friend lazily plastered the body part skeleton, it might have been a just bad cover but as is that is an A+++++++ Horrible cover, would not look at again!!!!!

karmajuice · #8 Post by **karmajuice** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:20 pm

Imagine having fingers instead of teeth. At first it seems like a bad idea, and there's certainly a lot wrong with it: you would have to wash them with soap instead of toothpaste, which would taste terrible; eating would be tremendously difficult, I can see lot of choking happening; it would look terrifying and weird, and smiles would lose their charm.

However, think of the advantages! Men who play harmonica while playing guitar won't need those metal braces around their heads. You can kiss someone and hold hands at the same time, the ultimate expression of casual affection. You can pick at your "teeth" publicly without looking indecent. You can wear jewelry on your teeth. Dentists will be a thing of the past. It would revolutionize oral sex, although I hate to think how.

HerrSchreck · #9 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:56 pm

I hate handsy bj's. Plus I'm not sure you're aware there's a cheekfoot.

"Pardon me ma'am, I'm suffering from Athlete's Face."

Murdoch · #10 Post by **Murdoch** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:05 am

If I were Stormare I'd thank my stars they left me off that cover. Of course if I were Stormare I probably would've stayed away from the VW commercials, too.

colinr0380 · #11 Post by **colinr0380** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:41 am

One thing I can't understand is whether the skull is supposed to be imagining Clea DuVall and Scott Speedman in the space where its brain used to be?

To be fair though this can't be the first time that seeing a poster/DVD cover for a Willem Dafoe film has made people exclaim "Jesus Christ!"

I looked up the UK cover, which is simpler and less gloriously dumb...but still stupid.

#12 Post by **domino harvey** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:24 am

I love how the DVDBeaver review is just like six boring captures of Dafoe. Someone has a crush!

colinr0380 · #13 Post by **colinr0380** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:50 am

domino harvey wrote:I love how the DVDBeaver review is just like six boring captures of Dafoe. Someone has a crush!

Why didn't they use that poster of Willem Dafoe outlined in red turning into a drop of blood? That is creepy, classy and features Mr Dafoe prominently!

colinr0380 · #14 Post by **colinr0380** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:35 pm

This is a bad DVD cover post crossed with a recommendation. I noticed that Docurama is repackaging the two amazing documentaries Paradise Lost: Child Murders At Robin Hood Hills and Paradise Lost 2: Revelations with a terrible DVD cover:

I would not hesitate to recommend anyone interested in the films to pick up the Warp Films DVD from the UK. Firstly it has a much better cover!:

The two discs are also packaged in one normal width DVD case, which might be a bonus for the space conscious! The discs are also in NTSC and region 0 according to the back of the cover, so should work in US players. Also French, Japanese, Italian, Spanish and German subtitles (sadly no English subs)

Most importantly the Warp Films disc contains commentary over the two films (4 hours and 40 minutes in total!) which doesn't feature on the Docurama discs, though the Warp Films DVD doesn't feature the extra 45 minutes of footage of Damien Echols testifying in his defence.

#15 Post by **domino harvey** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:40 pm

I'm curious as to the reasoning behind putting the faces of the accused in floating head format on the cover, as though someone would be browsing in a Blockbuster and going, "Oooo honey, look, the new Damien Echols film!"

Barmy · #16 Post by **Barmy** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:54 pm

I like this trend of faces in skulls.

Lemmy Caution · #17 Post by **Lemmy Caution** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 10:34 pm

The Termination Point cover I saw was worse than this.
This one at least looks spoofy, as if the dopey cover is intentional, though the descriptions make it sound like an earnest sci-fi adventure film.

Barmy · #18 Post by **Barmy** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:40 pm

Actually this cover is pretty good, although the gothic font seems inappropriate somehow.

HerrSchreck · #19 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:50 pm

Think there's any chance that Criterion will pick up Jesus Christ Serial Rapist?

aox · #20 Post by **aox** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:01 pm

God, I hope so...

HerrSchreck · #21 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:03 pm

aox wrote:God, I hope so...

In this specific instance, I think asking god might not be the best strategy... :-k

aox · #22 Post by **aox** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:09 pm

In my studies of God, at least from the points of view of the various religions that claim him, his (its) behavior seems pretty sadistic. :-"

HerrSchreck · #23 Post by **HerrSchreck** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:11 pm

...he's got a great ass, though.

Murdoch · #24 Post by **Murdoch** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:16 pm

That has a great tagline: "First he nails you, then he NAILS you!"

Barmy · #25 Post by **Barmy** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:23 pm

But the tagline makes no sense--Jesus was the nailee, no? Unless they are alluding to his carpentry background.

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