Movie Theater Experiences

[cdnchris]

or maybe being dragged to see The English Patient, being bored enough to ask the guy I was with if we could leave, having him say no, and then watching him fall right asleep.

Other than J. Peterman, am I like the only guy on this planet that has no problem sitting through this movie?

A couple of years ago the power went out through most of Washington and after 4 days without power I decided to go see a movie at a theater that had power to see, well, anything. I went in to see Stranger Than Fiction figuring no one would be there were quite actually quite a few people there, everyone there probably for the same reason I was. There were people obviously expecting Anchor Man getting annoyed at the film and talking through most of it. Then twenty minutes before the film was over, a couple come in, sit behind me, and then she proceeded to suck him off. After he finished they both left, one after the other, like they were trying to look inconspicuous. The most disappointing aspect is she wasn't even cute, though nice ass.

Speaking of sucking, my co-worker at this very moment is slurping loudly on his tea. Jesus Christ, how complicated is it to drink something hot. Every goddam day at this time. Fuck!!

[swo17]

I once was at the dollar theater with my wife (obviously people take things less seriously there, but still) on a night where she got to pick the movie. A few rows ahead of us were two kind of scary looking guys (no dates, just a guy's night out), one of whom obviously couldn't bear to go more than 20 minutes without talking to his girlfriend on the phone, often taking calls with a relaxed "What? Oh, nothing baby, just watching a movie." Finally, my wife yells fairly loudly (but politely) at him "Could you please not talk on your phone during the movie?" to which he responded (not so politely) "Shut up, bitch!" to which I said (in my mind) "Oh great, I'm going to get killed while watching 13 Going on 30."

Fortunately, the incident did not escalate further, and the guy must have taken the hint not to answer his phone for the remaining duration of the movie. In fact, the only sparks that flew after that were the manufactured ones onscreen between Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner. However, to this day, I still don't know what brought two hetero male ruffians into the same theater as I that night. And frankly, I don't want to know.

[Dr Amicus]

Way back in the 90s when I used to go up to the London Film Festival every year and overdose on films, I went to see Glastonbury The Movie (not the Julien Temple one!). I don't know if it was a prearranged stunt, but a couple of audience members, wearing viking costumes, pitched a tent in the aisle. Nobody made any comments about this...

Less unusual (I suppose), when I went to see Goodfellas at the cinema, there was a nun sitting in front of us. After every bout of violence or extended sequence of swearing, there was an audible 'tut tut...no, no, no'.

A friend went to watch In The Realm of the Senses in a grotty little cinema in Piccadilly Circus - he left half way through when a couple a row or so behind him started having sex. This was in addition to the dodgy man in the long overcoat...

[Props55]

Good God! I guess it's a damn good thing I haven't set foot in a movie theatre more than half a dozen times in the last ten years if all these experiences are typical of what to expect. Granted some of the venues are iffy but the majority of these anecdotes seem to be from standard mall and multiplex operations, not from the fleapits of (the old) Times Square or Soho or some inner-city ghetto dives. It seems people frequent theatres to talk, eat (full meals), drink (alchohol), sleep, ingest drugs, have sex, relieve themselves, beat their children, fight and die of various terminal diseases. Anything it appears but to watch a film!

I once read a very interesting article about watching exploitation films in all-night grindhouses (I think Cleveland or Philly) in the 70's which appeared in an issue of Magick Theatre Magazine, an unfortunately short lived fanzine. The author gave a good account of how the physical environment seemed to reflect and enhance the experience of seeing these films and how they both exhibit the darkest aspects of the cinemagoing experience. I wonder what he'd think of todays multiplexes which deteriorate into cesspools in a matter of years rather decades, the lack of civility (forget manners!) couth, inhibitions and hygene on the part, not of the poverty stricken underclass but, apparenly ordinary middle-class citizens, and most of all, the total disconnect between the films themselves and the "culture" of the audience.

[Sloper]

Weirdly enough, opera audiences are the worst in my experience: fat old rich people humming, reading, talking, snoring, elbowing other spectators and stinking of a mixture of B.O. and sinus-cauterising perfume, all the way through Don Giovanni, as if they think they're characters in The Age of Fucking Innocence. I'd always been struck by the inability of characters in films to ever sit quietly through the entirety of an opera performance, but not until I went myself did I realise this was art imitating life. The chavs at the local multiplex are angels by comparison.

[colinr0380]

That lets me comment on the time I was taken with my parents to see Pam Ayres read her tragi-comic poetry live. If you think the oblivious teenagers chatting on their mobile phones are bad imagine being stuck in a theatre listening to Ayres getting close to the punchline of her story only to have her dramatic pause before the final zinger line (she usually draws these things out to milk the audience for all it is worth and seemingly invites this sort of response!) be used by the 80 year old dear sitting behind you to say it for her. Not just for one story but for all of them!

I'm glad they enjoyed it but the whole experience of having the punchline whispered into your ear with a delighted sigh of happiness just a half beat before Ayres delivered it herself was excruciating after the first half hour!

[Sloper]

Nothing kills the mood of Macbeth quite so effectively as schoolchildren wolf-whistling when the hero has his armour put on for the climactic fight. And you can just forget about Romeo and Juliet.

Back in 1997, I saw The Full Monty in New York, and was amazed at the audience's reactions. They seemed to find everything, even the sad bits, hilariously funny. Is that really how Americans see us Brits? The experience became unnerving after a while. Then I saw it again, on video, with my 80-year-old grandmother, in Mill Hill: quite different.

[jbeall]

I attended the statewide thespian society conf. when I was in high school. God, h.s. actors just cannot stand not being the center of attention--every damn play I saw that weekend was marred by excessive sound effects from the audience. I guess actors simply make the worst audiences.

[MichaelB]

Back in 1997, I saw The Full Monty in New York, and was amazed at the audience's reactions. They seemed to find everything, even the sad bits, hilariously funny. Is that really how Americans see us Brits?

That was the reaction in British cinemas too, at least in the first few days of what was the Mamma Mia! of its day (overwhelmingly female audiences, massive word-of-mouth hit that hit no. 1 on the UK all-time box-office chart) - that's based on my own personal experience and copious anecdotal evidence.

I saw it with my then girlfriend on the opening night, and was quite startled to revisit it on television to discover that it was actually a very sad and sobering film. Mind you, so's Withnail & I, which probably still holds the record for a film making me laugh out loud in a cinema.

[JonathanM]

That was the reaction in British cinemas too, at least in the first few days of what was the Mamma Mia! of its day (overwhelmingly female audiences, massive word-of-mouth hit that hit no. 1 on the UK all-time box-office chart) - that's based on my own personal experience and copious anecdotal evidence.

I think that certain films get riotous laughs because people are invested in the film being hilariously funny. So they go to the cinema and they roar with laughter at everything. Not because it's funny but because they want to believe it is.

Speaking of other medium audiences, I got dragged to see Avenue Q and it was surreal. People giving themselves hernias such was the pure distilled hilarity rolling off the stage and breaking atop the audience. I didn't laugh at all, nor did the girlfriend, but we sat there looking round at people in bits on the floor. I imagine I would have got a similar experience had I gone to see Borat in a foreign language.

I'll second the disdain for opera audiences. The Royal Opera House in London effectively sell spaces standing behind pillars and sitting on steps in the aisles. I once went to see something and the guy sitting in a seat next to my GF (who was sitting on a fold-up seat in the aisle) took off his shoes and evidently took against this person sitting next to him so her start pushing her chair forward and resting his smelly feet on the back of her seat. When I protested he shushed me and pointed at the stage.

I'm also reminded of the flip side of the coin. I went to see The Descent in Switzerland. I'd already seen it but my friend hadn't and he was really up for it and was reacting really badly to noise in the cinema during the film. So he would stand up and yell at people to be quiet whenever they made a noise. In some cases this was fair enough, people answering their phones and wandering in and out throughout the film but is there's a line, I think he crossed it. He became this tyrant of silence who hushed a woman who had the temerity to giggle nervously. It was a tiny screen and the acoustics in the room didn't help matters but I think he demonstrated that it's possible to ruin a film whilst seeking too much purity of experience.

[MichaelB]

I'm also reminded of the flip side of the coin. I went to see The Descent in Switzerland. I'd already seen it but my friend hadn't and he was really up for it and was reacting really badly to noise in the cinema during the film. So he would stand up and yell at people to be quiet whenever they made a noise. In some cases this was fair enough, people answering their phones and wandering in and out throughout the film but is there's a line, I think he crossed it. He became this tyrant of silence who hushed a woman who had the temerity to giggle nervously. It was a tiny screen and the acoustics in the room didn't help matters but I think he demonstrated that it's possible to ruin a film whilst seeking too much purity of experience.

There was a similar anecdote told by - I think - Gilbert Adair, when he went to watch Buster Keaton's The Navigator at London's National Film Theatre, notorious for its po-faced audiences. Not too surprisingly, given that it's one of Keaton's funniest films, Adair laughed uproariously throughout, but was shushed throughout by someone behind him. At the end of the film, Adair turned round and asked just what was so appalling about laughing at a comedy - only to be told "it's not a comedy, it's a classic!".

[Antoine Doinel]

Five laws all movie watchers must obey

[cdnchris]

The other day, the police shot a guy in a movie theatre with a Taser. According to reports out of Calgary, a young man who appeared drunk was screaming during a screening of Watchmen -- not an unexpected reaction, by the way. When management asked him to stop, he pulled a knife. Police were called, and they had to subdue him electrically.

That would have been so worth the admission price for Watchmen.

[Murdoch]

So I saw Yojimbo last night for the first time at the local arthouse, loved it, it's probably my favorite Kurosawa thus far, and the audience was a great crowd to be with for the film and actually made it more enjoyable. However, the person I went with hated it, which I thought was weird since she was laughing at parts right along with everyone else. I asked her what she thought of the movie and she said it was the worst movie ever made, pretty surprised by her reaction I asked why she didn't like it and all she said was "I don't know, it was just bad" then she started talking about Kill Bill being a more successful movie and proceeded to make general statements about how new movies were more "stylish" and then made the giant assumption that all movies from before the 90s lacked this style. Jeez, the best movie-going experience quickly turned into the worst, I was formulating rebuttals in my head of what to say, but on the drive home I just sat dumbfounded by what I was hearing and drove as quickly as possible before my head exploded. I think I'll have to stop watching films with her since she made the same argument about Blue Velvet, I really needed to vent, I just... can't fathom. I'm a pacifist but that night may have changed me.

[tavernier]

I'll have to stop watching films with her

Good idea

[swo17]

Perhaps she would have preferred this.

[HerrSchreck]

So I saw Yojimbo last night for the first time at the local arthouse, loved it, it's probably my favorite Kurosawa thus far, and the audience was a great crowd to be with for the film and actually made it more enjoyable. However, the person I went with hated it, which I thought was weird since she was laughing at parts right along with everyone else. I asked her what she thought of the movie and she said it was the worst movie ever made, pretty surprised by her reaction I asked why she didn't like it and all she said was "I don't know, it was just bad" then she started talking about Kill Bill being a more successful movie and proceeded to make general statements about how new movies were more "stylish" and then made the giant assumption that all movies from before the 90s lacked this style. Jeez, the best movie-going experience quickly turned into the worst, I was formulating rebuttals in my head of what to say, but on the drive home I just sat dumbfounded by what I was hearing and drove as quickly as possible before my head exploded. I think I'll have to stop watching films with her since she made the same argument about Blue Velvet, I really needed to vent, I just... can't fathom. I'm a pacifist but that night may have changed me.

This is a perfect reason why-- and I was blathering on and on about this to KNappen during a long walk this spring when he came and crashed at my pad for a few days-- that I don't date chicks who are artists/people-who-are-fanatical-about the kind of stuff I am: the disagreements are like nuclear detonations... this goes triple for when you are in your late teens thru early-30's. It blows your mind when you get a sacreligious reaction like the above. Nice to keep it easygoing, and meet in the middle from two very different psychic places.

It's also one of the reasons I've revised my opinion about Art In The 21st Century: I used to think that if minds like the greats of the 20th Century-- in music, in writing, in film, etc-- appeared nowadays, the kids would just fall at their feet in worship the contrast would be so great on what they're being weened on.

It's only recently that I've come to accept that this isn't so, that the conditioning wrought by the past 10-15 years has been too great..

[Murdoch]

I just can't understand having that belief, that "out-with-the-old-in-with-the-new" disregard as if all that came before is now worthless. And it's not like this is some first encounter for me, the film courses I've taken have run rampant with this kind of thing, it just never ceases to amaze. It doesn't bother me that she didn't like the movie, it's the sensationalist expression of disgust that she uses that I've seen too many times plastered on imdb forums that will never fail to irk me. But she does get me into the theater for free, hmmm...

I agree with you, Schreck on the middleground, except I try and detach film from any discussion I have with someone, just steer the conversation elsewhere, otherwise nod along with what they say and maybe go watch some cheesy bad-good sci-fi flick we can both laugh along with, unless they can't even enjoy that, then I go ballistic. I may give up on trying to introduce people to world cinema - which has been a fruitless pursuit anyways - probably go drown my sorrows in an Ozu Eclipse set now.

[knives]

Well at least you have your house. Last Christmas I was trying to watch some silents with a friend, his wife came in and gave her own rude audio track. I asked why she didn't be quiet or just leave so she wouldn't have to deal with the horrors of a silent film. She replied as such, "I don't understand why you'd watch something so old. It is ridiculous."
She still hasn't answered my question.

[Highway 61]

I just can't understand having that belief, that "out-with-the-old-in-with-the-new" disregard as if all that came before is now worthless. And it's not like this is some first encounter for me, the film courses I've taken have run rampant with this kind of thing, it just never ceases to amaze.

Encountering this phenomenon is unquestionably the most aggravating aspect of studying film. What's weirder is that I never hear it in relation to other mediums with the same vehemence. Sure, I meet scores of people who read Palahniuk and other hack writers and think they're the greatest novelists of all time, but I've never heard someone say, "Fuck Jane Austen and Charles Dickens! Palahniuk owns them any day!" Even people who resent classic authors would never voice it because they know it will make them look idiotic. But when it comes to movies, anything goes.

Even among intelligent, open-minded folks, film remains some kind of insurmountable barrier. I've suffered through disastrous evenings showing movies as accessible as Once Upon a Time in the West and Paris, Texas to smart people with good taste, and nothing. The latter was dismissed as "too beautiful with characters who are too articulate for me." Unbelievable.

[swo17]

This all reminds me of a short but sweet conversation I had with a friend of the wife a few weeks ago:

SHE [enters room, with disgust]: Why are you watching a movie with subtitles?

ME: Because I don't speak Finnish.

SHE: You're weird. [storms off]

[Sloper]

I asked why she didn't like it and all she said was "I don't know, it was just bad" then she started talking about Kill Bill being a more successful movie

One of the few things I remember about Kill Bill (Part 1) is that Uma Thurman does a move - I guess it's the bit where she cuts the guy's arm off and he rotates on the floor for a while - which is (I think) an exact copy of the one Mifune does in the equivalent arm-lopping scene in Yojimbo. Maybe this is common knowledge, but you might want to mention it to your friend.

That said, the "but this is one of so-and-so's favourite movies" defence rarely has any effect, on me or anyone else. (Also, turning into a one-man-Kurosawa-propagagnda-campaign might ruin your friendship, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.)

[Jean-Luc Garbo]

She replied as such, "I don't understand why you'd watch something so old. It is ridiculous."

That attitude drives me nuts. As if her arrogant dismissal means anything. Besides her stupidity. I also hear that attitude all the time regarding classical music and I could kill someone the extent it angers me.

Encountering this phenomenon is unquestionably the most aggravating aspect of studying film. What's weirder is that I never hear it in relation to other mediums with the same vehemence. Sure, I meet scores of people who read Palahniuk and other hack writers and think they're the greatest novelists of all time, but I've never heard someone say, "Fuck Jane Austen and Charles Dickens! Palahniuk owns them any day!" Even people who resent classic authors would never voice it because they know it will make them look idiotic. But when it comes to movies, anything goes.

That’s because Austen and Dickens have been sanctified as Art. What’s worse is that they’re seen to have little to say to us today. How can they be classic examples of written communication and also be seen as having nothing to say to us now years and years later? It’s a sad world.

[Murdoch]

One of the few things I remember about Kill Bill (Part 1) is that Uma Thurman does a move - I guess it's the bit where she cuts the guy's arm off and he rotates on the floor for a while - which is (I think) an exact copy of the one Mifune does in the equivalent arm-lopping scene in Yojimbo. Maybe this is common knowledge, but you might want to mention it to your friend.

I did mention this last night, and she said she saw the similarities between the two films, but she was far too adament in her position for me to be able to persuade her from her preferences. I don't get it, dismissing a film based on its age is another prejudice that I won't subscribe to and I find it exasperating.

I think next time this happens I'm going to go off on the person and just throw all caution to the wind, go into a complete rage blackout of misguided cinematic fury. I'll be sort of like the Hulk, only unable to win a fistfight.

[Michael Kerpan]

Not gonna make someone a fan of classic movies by aggressive argumentation.