'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[MichaelB]

EDIT: Sorry. I didn't mean to call it a "pinko" health care system, I meant "Nazi" health care system.

It's a Nazi Orwellian Socialist healthcare system. Do keep up.

[cdnchris]

Tarrantino is a modern day Shakespeare. He borrows from all the filmmakers he loved growing up.

Just like Shakespeare did.

It's a Nazi Orwellian Socialist healthcare system. Do keep up.

I just can't keep up anymore. Every day Fox News (oxymoron) says it's something else.

[kaujot]

Tarrantino is a modern day Shakespeare. He borrows from all the filmmakers he loved growing up.

Just like Shakespeare did.

Well, Shakespeare did borrow from loads and loads of literary figures. I suppose there's something of a connection there. Something, anyway.

[Dr. Geek]

Tarrantino is a modern day Shakespeare. He borrows from all the filmmakers he loved growing up.

Just like Shakespeare did.

Well, Shakespeare did borrow from loads and loads of literary figures. I suppose there's something of a connection there. Something, anyway.

Not a very thought-out one, at least.

[knives]

What happens when a teenage girl watches a pre-pirates Depp movie

I love Johnny Depp and think he is a terific actor who takes on difficult roles and does them wonderfully BUT THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE, I hated it, in fact I did not get through the whole movie.
It reminded me of a very badly overacted Grease. As good looking as Johnny is, that cant carry this movie. Sorry I bought it as I could have watched it for free on Comcast On Demand:(

[foliagecop]

What happens when a teenage girl watches a pre-pirates Depp movie

I love Johnny Depp and think he is a terific actor who takes on difficult roles and does them wonderfully BUT THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE, I hated it, in fact I did not get through the whole movie.
It reminded me of a very badly overacted Grease. As good looking as Johnny is, that cant carry this movie. Sorry I bought it as I could have watched it for free on Comcast On Demand:(

What was the film?

[mikkelmark]

What happens when a teenage girl watches a pre-pirates Depp movie

I love Johnny Depp and think he is a terific actor who takes on difficult roles and does them wonderfully BUT THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE, I hated it, in fact I did not get through the whole movie.
It reminded me of a very badly overacted Grease. As good looking as Johnny is, that cant carry this movie. Sorry I bought it as I could have watched it for free on Comcast On Demand:(

What was the film?

Im guessing its Cry Baby.

When in highschool, i once loaned my copy of Dead Man to a chick in my class who was nuts about Johnny Depp, she did not like it

[swo17]

IMDb user a_crow_quilled_threnody on Goodbye, Dragon Inn:

I agree, horrible film.
I watch all dull Asian movies in 2x speed, so I can experience the movie and still feel like I didn't waste my life on a cruddy flick. No matter how untolerable, I like to finish a movie, and understand the culture and mentality behind certain people and or countries.

Then, with his newfound understanding of the culture and mentality behind certain people and or countries, he asks:

can someone explain why it took over 3 minutes for the three men to urinate? lol
This has little volume, so I am unsure if they were finished peeing after a minute, but too afraid to pull out, because they are shy...Don't want to be seen tucking their privates back under?
Their eye gestures and expressions hinted they felt uncomfortable standing so close at the urinals, so I might be right.

I suppose I can see how the joke here could be lost on someone watching the movie in fast forward.

[Murdoch]

If that guy gets his cultural understanding from watching foreign films in fast-forward then he must think everyone outside his country moves about like they were on Benny Hill. Which is quite an amusing idea, although it opens the gates for all kinds of ethnocentrism.

[MichaelB]

Has he reviewed any Béla Tarr films?

[Michael]

The New World:

These kinds of movies should NOT be made by weird people who only wants to do art *beep* they should stick to lowbudget Stanley Kubrick stuff.

When i see a historic movie i wanna see it Troy/Braveheart/Last Samurai style
I dont wanna see the characters speak in poems and rhymes..its bullcrap!

I'm interested in history. NOT ART! This movie was weird. And there are no other movies about the Jamestown settlement. So now I'm stuck with this!

They had great actors and much much money to make a great epic history movie and the blew it. Big time!

.....No, i dont know who Terrence Malick is. And i really dont care. He is probably a big art-movie with deep messages type of director. But he should not ruin these great history-stories with his disgusting art.

These type of movies should be directed by Mel Gibson or Roland Emmerich or someone who knows how to handle this genre.

It will take at least 20 years until they make a remake of this story and it pisses me off!

[Doctor Sunshine]

I mean, as every history-loving American knows, they didn't they didn't have bras and zippers back then so clothing was only precipitously held onto the body, they were outdoors a lot so they had to shout all the time and machine guns have been around since like the 1600s. So where's my slow motion boobage, why are these people talking at moderate levels and what are they doing diddling around with boring ass sabres? Fucking art! [hocks loogie]

[Feego]

When i see a historic movie i wanna see it Troy/Braveheart/Last Samurai style
I dont wanna see the characters speak in poems and rhymes..its bullcrap!

These type of movies should be directed by Mel Gibson or Roland Emmerich or someone who knows how to handle this genre.

Perhaps this person should check out Disney's Pocahontas. It tells the same story and features the voice of Mel Gibson. Oh wait, they sing in that version. I guess that's on par with bullcrap like speaking in poems and rhymes.

[kidc85]

The New World:

These type of movies should be directed by Mel Gibson or Roland Emmerich or someone who knows how to handle this genre.

James Horner is still pissed off I see.

[cdnchris]

I watched this as a child but didn't recall the part where the little cute baby oysters come out of the sea with the walrus and the carpenter. They are really cute, and you think they will learn a lesson but be all right when they don't listen to their mother, but the big walrus guy eats them. When my little boy figured this out, his face just dropped. Before that he liked it because of the really cute baby oysters. This is NOT for little little ones. He's 4. The mad hatter has this tongue problem that his tongue is always hanging out of his mouth. Combine that with the obnoxious worm that keeps breathing smoke in Alice's face saying who are you very annoyingly and I was thoroughly irritated. Keep in mind, this is only my OPINION, but I wanted to take it back to the store and get my money back. Be sure you rent and watch anything from childhood before buying. Your memory of it is a child's. Mine had quite a few years in between. I hope this was helpful.

[fiddlesticks]

I watched this as a child but didn't recall the part where the little cute baby oysters come out of the sea with the walrus and the carpenter. They are really cute, and you think they will learn a lesson but be all right when they don't listen to their mother, but the big walrus guy eats them. When my little boy figured this out, his face just dropped. Before that he liked it because of the really cute baby oysters. This is NOT for little little ones. He's 4. The mad hatter has this tongue problem that his tongue is always hanging out of his mouth. Combine that with the obnoxious worm that keeps breathing smoke in Alice's face saying who are you very annoyingly and I was thoroughly irritated. Keep in mind, this is only my OPINION, but I wanted to take it back to the store and get my money back. Be sure you rent and watch anything from childhood before buying. Your memory of it is a child's. Mine had quite a few years in between. I hope this was helpful.

Eat me.

[swo17]

Ah, the hazards of anthropomorphizing shellfish.

[cdnchris]

I'm pretty sure that that guy's kid is going to get the shit kicked out of him at school.

[gubbelsj]

The mad hatter has this tongue problem that his tongue is always hanging out of his mouth.

8-[

I don't really recall being too disturbed by, or even having any memory of, the Mad Hatter's tongue. Large and protruding front teeth, maybe. A hat size tag. But a "tongue problem"? And this is somehow a big no-no for children? What on earth is this person talking about?

[mfunk9786]

Wow, someone's rating on Amazon Marketplace was taken down a peg thanks to this genius:

3 out of 5:
"Arrived as expected but couldn't watch it because of the cancer theme and vomiting scenes/references, none of which were in the previews."
Date: August 19, 2009
Rated by Buyer: cavinger

[Jean-Luc Garbo]

What a fucking idiot! How is it the seller's fault? Geeeez. ](*,)

[mfunk9786]

I've also never quite understood why buyers will say [paraphrasing] "Item arrived on time in promised condition." and only give 4/5 to a seller. Are they supposed to throw in a lollipop with the DVD to earn that extra star?

[swo17]

I know it hurts sellers' ratings when you give them anything less than five stars, but I really hate the pressure I feel to rate five stars for service that was merely, erm, serviceable. I still always feel like I'm saying, "you sir were the Citizen Kane of internet merchants!" when more often, they were more just like the William Wellman of internet merchants. I would prefer to reserve five star ratings for sellers that go above and beyond, with effusive communication that celebrates my taste and internet savvy, extra special effort to ensure that an item is safely and adequately packaged, and yes, perhaps even the occasional lollipop.

Though of course, not wanting to rock the boat, I usually just cave in and give the five stars anyway.

[knives]

My rule is after a week it doesn't arrive, automatically four stars. I want it within seven days of my ordering.

[bamwc2]

I know that this will come as a shock to you, but Harry Knowles's latest weekly DVD column is peppered with musings like the following:

On Braveheart:

… let’s ponder the question. Who would win in a fight. Russell Crowe’s GLADIATOR or Mel Gibson’s WILLIAM WALLACE. I have to say, I think Crowe would wipe the floor with Wallace – but Willy could beserker his way through to an impossible victory. What do you think? Willy or Crowe?

On Fire and Ice

Btw – is there a hotter cartoon fuck than Frazetta’s Teegra? I think not. Sure Olive Oyl is more flexible and Betty Boop knows all the best tricks, but Teegra’s lines draw one thing from any man that watches her on screen… and that’s desire.