'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[Erikht]

The last days of Pompeii from 1913 gets told off in this one:

Disappointed. I love Pompeii and have read everything I can about it and the disaster of 79AD
I am waiting for Robert Brown's book to be made into a movie directed by Stephen Speilburg or Francis Ford Copola
I am not a fan of silent movies

I think he means Robert Harris. Anyway, Speilburg or Copola would possibly be able to tell him. And if you are not a fan of silent movies, why, oh why do you buy a film from 1913?

[knives]

This is the worst show ever produced - taking advantage of Seinfeld fans misguided loyalty, and the wrongful thought, that since this is made by Larry Davis, it has to be good... it don't!
After a couple of episodes (if you actually get this deep into it before throwing away the dvd's) you realise that the dialogue actually follows the same structure and speech patterns that Seinfeld does - only this show has no proper actors or comedians to deliver the lines.
It's stiff, slow, tries to hard but keeps on failing, annoying, embarrassing and quite frankly a disaster.
I have no idea who these guys are that gives this 5 stars, but they have to be family of Larry's.
I bought the entire series based on the stupid 5 star reviews and the fact that I too thought that 'Larry Davis, this can only be good' - but I've had to through the dvd's out without even seeing all the episodes.
Waste of time and money!!!

Every time a person uses hyperbole an angel gets its wings.

[swo17]

They should totally incorporate that into a Curb episode, where some guy keeps calling him Larry Davis.

[bamwc2]

While working on a review of Young Soul Rebels, I came across this gem on imdb:

Remember the 1966 movie BLOWUP ? That's the movie that claims to be a murder thriller but is nothing of the sort . YOUNG SOUL REBELS is basically the same , it starts with a murder in a park then spends most of its running time going out of its way not to be a murder thriller except for the last five minutes which reveals who the murderer is . I'm surprised anyone is still able to remember or care about the murder subplot by the end of the movie since it concentrates more on the soul club scene of the late 1970s . Worse it features several scenes of men kissing and in one scene there's something a lot worse than kissing going on

Before anyone goes running to the admin screaming that a raving homophobe has submitted a review let me point out that BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN has received massive critical acclaim ( Though it's unlikely to make more than 50 million dollars at the US box office ) so much for homophobia . What my main gripe the opening and closing scene revolves around a murder and very little in between has anything to do with the alleged main story . There is no main story as we see a rambling ill focused film concerning itself with the club scene of 1977 . Ironically enough there's no feel of time or place here and could easily be set in any part of Britain at any point during the last 30 years

This is just another cheaply made British movie that was produced by people who have no desire to make movies for a mainstream audience . If they had decided to make a movie revolving around a murder in a park that would have been fine , ditto if they had decided to make a movie revolving around the London soul scene but seeing as they've tried to combine the two YOUNG SOUL REBELS is a failure while the scenes of homosexuality is totally alienating for the average cinema goer . At least BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN deserves credit for knowing

Leaving aside the homophobia, my favorite part of the comment is how he claims that it could take place at any point in Britain in the last thirty years when both the Queen's jubilee and the music scene in the late 70's are major plot elements.

[Mr Sausage]

No, the best part is clearly when he says Brokeback Mountain single-handedly cured homophobia by making 50 million at the box office.

[cdnchris]

Just like how Crash winning Best Picture stopped racism.

[knives]

I thought that was Obama stealing the election.

[Mr. Ned]

I usually let most insipid Netflix reviews slide but I couldn't help but reward this one with a hearty chuckle. For Memento:

I had a hard time following this movie, it's almost like watching the movie backwards.

[nsps]

Pretty sure that one's a joke, Ned.

…

I bought the entire series based on the stupid 5 star reviews and the fact that I too thought that 'Larry Davis, this can only be good' - but I've had to through the dvd's out without even seeing all the episodes.
Waste of time and money!!!

Every time a person uses hyperbole an angel gets its wings.

A season I'd buy, but why would you buy a complete SERIES if you hadn't seen a single episode?

[fiddlesticks]

A season I'd buy, but why would you buy a complete SERIES if you hadn't seen a single episode?

I've bought complete series based on their reputations alone, and generally have not regretted it, although I probably wouldn't do this for a mammoth 20+disc multi-season series.

[swo17]

An eloquent review of Jean Eustache's The Mother and the Whore:

when i saw the title i thought it was gonna be a raunchy mother-son incest softcore movie. NOT THIS SHIT

[Matt]

I feel a little sorry for Dolores J. Cooper, who recently bought the Blu-ray of The Third Man, posted this review on Amazon, and seems not to know what to do next:

I am wondering what you can do to help me with my purchase.
I bought the DVD and sent it to my Brother, who is in an Extended Care facility in Moore, Oklahoma. It was a while before my sister-in-law actually took it to him. When he finally got it he said it wouldn't work. It gave him some error message. I told him to send it back so I could return it. It took a long while for them to get it back to me.

I saw the information in the package regarding the need to return it within 30 days, so I just set it aside.
But, I would like to return it though, because it is doing me no good here.

I would appreciate your getting back to me,

Thank you,
Dolores Cooper

She has one other review up. This one's for the "Doll by Berenguer: Nursery Playmates - Little Pink Lamb"

I make reborn babies. It can be difficult to find sweet Oriental dolls to reborn. I was so happy to be able to find this one on your website.
Thank you,
Dolores Cooper

[domino harvey]

An eloquent review of Jean Eustache's The Mother and the Whore:

when i saw the title i thought it was gonna be a raunchy mother-son incest softcore movie. NOT THIS SHIT

Box-ready quote if you ask me

[Jean-Luc Garbo]

An eloquent review of Jean Eustache's The Mother and the Whore:

when i saw the title i thought it was gonna be a raunchy mother-son incest softcore movie. NOT THIS SHIT

I'd like to know how he missed the boat on the film's actual content. And how much of it he got through. Where was the review posted originally, swo?

[swo17]

That was actually the entirety of the review, so unfortunately, the machinations of this guy's mind will have to remain a mystery for the ages.

[Michael]

Review of Wings of Desire, quoted from Amazon:

Mr Herzog would have us belive that ANGELS are up in the HEAVEN place, and that if they actualy wanted to "do" their HOLY GUARDIAN ANGELS in sleazy lounges in Berlin, or consort with washed-up types, then they would. That they would feel SEXUAL LUST for Columbo is a ludricrous, not to mention an UNCHRISTIAN thing to suggest. Our father, GOD THE FATHER would never allow such a thing to happen, or such a creature to feel such base emotions as MAKING LOVE in sleazy dives, wanting to become human, or hanging around with tv stars in the first place. Neither JESUS CHRIST THE LORD nor such a creature as this could ever be a ANGEL if they SUFFERED such thoughts. Such as HE or Mr. Herzog would be condemned to torment in the FRIES of HELL (The Teachings of Emanuel Swedenborg Vol. II) like nearly every other American will end up doing in these sad times. Mr. Herzog needs to go back to CHURCH and read his BIBLE more, the instant he has such an IMPURE THOUGHT, in order to find out what the TRUTH IS. This is typical hollywood BLASPHEMY.

Herzog? Fries of Hell? Hollywood blasphemy? Jeezus, that guy is quite a work.

[Mr Sausage]

The Fries of Hell sound delicious. I will take my damnation with a side of ketchup, please.

[foliagecop]

Review of Wings of Desire, quoted from Amazon:

Mr Herzog would have us belive that ANGELS are up in the HEAVEN place, and that if they actualy wanted to "do" their HOLY GUARDIAN ANGELS in sleazy lounges in Berlin, or consort with washed-up types, then they would. That they would feel SEXUAL LUST for Columbo is a ludricrous, not to mention an UNCHRISTIAN thing to suggest. Our father, GOD THE FATHER would never allow such a thing to happen, or such a creature to feel such base emotions as MAKING LOVE in sleazy dives, wanting to become human, or hanging around with tv stars in the first place. Neither JESUS CHRIST THE LORD nor such a creature as this could ever be a ANGEL if they SUFFERED such thoughts. Such as HE or Mr. Herzog would be condemned to torment in the FRIES of HELL (The Teachings of Emanuel Swedenborg Vol. II) like nearly every other American will end up doing in these sad times. Mr. Herzog needs to go back to CHURCH and read his BIBLE more, the instant he has such an IMPURE THOUGHT, in order to find out what the TRUTH IS. This is typical hollywood BLASPHEMY.

Herzog? Fries of Hell? Hollywood blasphemy? Jeezus, that guy is quite a work.

I wonder what he'd make of Wim Wenders' 'Nosferatu The Vampyre'.

[Tom Amolad]

The Fries of Hell sound delicious.

I don't know, I'm a sucker for fried holy grail, myself.

[HarryLong]

The Fries of Hell sound delicious.

Anything with that much cayenne would be off my diet. Acid reflux, y'unnerstand...

[fiddlesticks]

According to Bob Ney, Fries of Hell = French fries.

[zedz]

Review of Wings of Desire, quoted from Amazon:

Priceless!

As far as cases of mistaken identity go, surely this is the Worst Case Scenario?:

Mr. Herzog would be condemned to torment in the FRIES of HELL (The Teachings of Emanuel Swedenborg Vol. II)

Eternal damnation just because someone thinks all those New German Cinema guys look the same? Now that's harsh.

[Kirkinson]

Review of Wings of Desire, quoted from Amazon:

While I would love it if this was genuine, judging from the guy's profile I'm pretty sure he's joking. And his review of Journal of the Plague Year quashed all lingering doubt.

[Jean-Luc Garbo]

And his review of Journal of the Plague Year quashed all lingering doubt.

The oblivious comments on the review are pretty good, too.

[Michael Kerpan]

I'm not convinced that this (so called) Mark Twain iis pulling people's legs. He's kept up the same schtick now for two years.