The Armond White Thread

[domino harvey]

He sucked off Gigi last year, he definitely means Vincente

[Fiery Angel]

Armond in person about MJ's videos

[Matt]

Did Armond forget that Jackson had an elaborate curse put on Spielberg, apparently for failing to cast him in Hook? Shit, he might as well have, as pitiful as that movie is.

They might not have made An American in Paris 2 together (pardon me whilst I regurgitate into this nearby basin), but there's always this.

[MichaelB]

Did Armond forget that Jackson had an elaborate curse put on Spielberg, apparently for failing to cast him in Hook? Shit, he might as well have, as pitiful as that movie is.

Guess who disagrees with you?

[kaujot]

Wowie zowie, does he ever hate Precious.

[knives]

Weird, outside of the severe hyperbole (seriously, Birth of a Nation. That's the Godwin's law of films) he seems to confirm most of what the trailer and reviews, accidentally, hint at.

[domino harvey]

Broken clock, &c

[Nothing]

See this is where Armond is useful.

[dx23]

I find it amazing that he like Norbit and loathes Precious.

[domino harvey]

In his mind only one of those two films panders to its audience by insultingly showing a smug representation of reality rather than a fat-suit-filled fantasy world. His argument actually makes sense, which is sort of depressing if you think about it: Imagine an alternate reality where Armond White kept having oddball tastes but dropped the hyperbolic comparisons and juvenile hero worship and instead made well-reasoned appeals. He might actually be more than a joke. But then again, if he wasn't a total contrarian, we wouldn't all be talking about him and what would that do for him?

[colinr0380]

I find it amazing that he like Norbit and loathes Precious.

I'm just amazed that he actually expects Oprah and Tyler Perry to be able (and willing) to feel shame.

Of course Perry has shown the world in the Madea films that having a man dressed as a woman doing comedy skits doesn't preclude bi-polar swerves into dramatic scenes about adulterous relationships and heavy handed moral lessons. Who here wouldn't have thought 21 Grams would have been a much more successful film if in between the angry sex, life destroying desire for revenge and religious redemption there was a female impersonator doing broad comedy to lighten the mood a little?

[HarryLong]

Who here wouldn't have thought 21 Grams would have been a much more successful film if in between the angry sex, life destroying desire for revenge and religious redemption there was a female impersonator doing broad comedy to lighten the mood a little?

It sure would have been a boon to The Seventh Seal ...

[rs98762001]

Armond is about to become this forum's hero:

http://nypress.com/articles.sec-20-1-reviews-films.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[swo17]

Armond is about to become this forum's hero: http://nypress.com/articles.sec-20-1-reviews-films.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

No, because that review is basically just a love letter to Transformers 2. It actually includes the phrase "climaxed with Transformers 2." I'm not even going to touch that.

[dx23]

I stop reading after this first line:

WHAT CAN Rob Marshall’s Nine add to the movie-musical genre after Michael Jackson’s This Is It, the international box-office hit that redefined the form?

[colinr0380]

Armond was also the only person to vote for This Is It in the recent Sight and Sound Films of the Year poll ("a radically inventive concert movie that humanises Michael Jackson and features the best big-screen musical performances since MGM's heyday").

[wattsup32]

Can someone explain to me how a review of a movie based on 8 1/2 doesn't actually mention 8 1/2 until the last two sentences of the review? Yet, somehow, the review manages to devote as much writing to This Is It as it does to Nine. White is truly impressive sometimes.

[swo17]

Oh, but Nine was so close to succeeding! If only Rob Marshall had cast Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, J-Lo, Alicia Keys, Missy, Shakira, Eva Mendes, and Megan Fox. If only...

[domino harvey]

Was hoping Nine would prove to be the work of a pop savvy raconteur that transcends sterile genre limits via being radical auteur-redefining departure from inferior musicals that wear their tired hipster nihilism on their sleeve

[domino harvey]

Look at me, look at me! Guys! C'mon! Look at me!

[knives]

I have no serious problems with that list, Precious is terrible, but he needs to stop focusing on the negative. Geez.

[dx23]

The Better-Than list is the most moronic thing I've ever seen. He compares apples to condoms, because there is no other way of making any logic or seeing any common sense in the movies he compares in that list.

[mfunk9786]

The Better-Than list is the most moronic thing I've ever seen. He compares apples to condoms, because there is no other way of making any logic or seeing any common sense in the movies he compares in that list.

Agreed. There's a reason why he's the only critic with the audacity to make a list like that.

[Mr Sausage]

Jesus Christ, did he really just say in that Hangover capsule that boys are synonymous with pigs?

[swo17]

At least we can all agree that Up would have been far better (and a better kids' film at that) had it been the "sweet tale of a widower challenging the sexual mores he grew up with."