2009 Wrapup | Criterion Forum Awards

[Tribe]

Oh My God! Schreck's post is why we need a thumbs up button option!

[TMDaines]

AOX: (Charges, and is intercepted by Tommaso, MichaelB, and Wu.Qinghua. AOX snaps out from their grip and smooths himself out and fixes bowtie) Don’t even know why I made the attempt anyway. Fucking standard def punters. On to better things. (Moments later, out in cab—stroking and planting light kisses on a BD of PLAYTIME) Mmmmmmm…(giggles) what’s that you say honey? (Tickles case)…

The most obvious joke you could have done but still genius!

[NABOB OF NOWHERE]

Shrek to host the Oscars this year? What the fuck did I do to get bitch slapped by Domino?

[skuhn8]

I'm always naked--or nearly so--in H.Schreck's fantasy plays. You sure must be getting a lot of mileage out o' that Esquire spread I did awhile back.

[Tommaso]

SCHRECK (Recovering, struggles with HARE precisely as HARE just struggled with him a moment ago. Finally the two brain-damaged members, after a brief stretch of trying to kill the collapsed podium with their shoes, recover enough to begin the SPEECH. SCHRECK starts): Friends, humans, specimens of unknown species, cover-stories riding over yet-undiscerned malicious intent, lend me your ears. We come together in this great hallowed resting ground, this field of heroes, this (lipquiver) sacred place of repose for men who bowed the great violin string of the world in a way which strummed harmonious chords of response from deep within the heart of our godfearing republic. Good god, if I could but raise one of these precious souls from the earthen cradle that tenderly rocks them in their sweet sleep, if I could but kiss—and have my moistened cheeks kissed in return—by these glorious and majestic souls--men women, privates, generals, field nurses-- who stared into the silken tissued fabric of our Christian society and said “To thee, and on bended knee, doth I tender my life in solemn service,” ah! Now there’s a yearning, eh? Eh? For though it is true—it is true indeed—that our Lord YHWH von Tetragrammaton has seen fit to tender back home these, (eyes watering) the soul and substance of our better selves, these our heroes, to *sniff* His golden breast and in the command and in the fullness of His own time… yes, though this is true.. is it somehow for us not to seek to climb the golden towers of our finer tendencies? It remains for us, we here with bedewed cheek, with mist of eye, we here of the civil service, we here of gilded hall, we who hauled ass from Statuary, we who pump the drinking water, we who scream at small children while at the head of church & classroom, we forever wroth versus a foul and sinister enemy—

Apart from the more or less standard grammar and spelling, this must be the closest anyone came to "Finnegans Wake" since 1939. Great stuff.

[HerrSchreck]

I'm always naked--or nearly so--in H.Schreck's fantasy plays. You sure must be getting a lot of mileage out o' that Esquire spread I did awhile back.

I confess it's probably some kind of a cleansing process meant to drain off any residual rage and jealousy resulting from the fact that my one of my former girlfriends had that big photo of you that was sorta like a centerfold-- in that it took up two whole pages in the Esquire spread-- glued to the bottom of her bottom endtable drawer and covered with clear contact paper.. that and the fact that every here & there, she would have dreams about revisiting her education... I admit they struck me as odd as she rarely talked about that subject, as she was modestly intellectual person who had reaped maximum benefit of her college education and seemingly had no reason for regret or a feeling of missing out)... what I kept hearing as sumnambulistic sleep-mutterings of "Need to go back to school," "Can't wait for my school reunion," "The first day I went to school I was so nervous my mother had to hold my hand," "This school is very very strict about lateness," etc.

As you may have guess I was mishearing phonetically was "Can't wait for my skoon (skuhn) reunion," and "The first day I went to skoon (skuhn) I was so nervous my mother had to hold my hand." etc...

[LQ]

More grotesqueries bobbing around Schreck's head than in a Goya sketchbook. I love it. Thanks for the deliriously entertaining read, mein Herr.

[zedz]

I'm always naked--or nearly so--in H.Schreck's fantasy plays. You sure must be getting a lot of mileage out o' that Esquire spread I did awhile back.

I confess it's probably some kind of a cleansing process meant to drain off any residual rage and jealousy resulting from the fact that my one of my former girlfriends had that big photo of you that was sorta like a centerfold-- in that it took up two whole pages in the Esquire spread-- glued to the bottom of her bottom endtable drawer and covered with clear contact paper..

And I just know we're talking skuhn's old avatar here: the one, the only, the true skuhn - a face any girlfriend would fall for.