Machete (Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis, 2010)

[Anhedionisiac]

Jeff was actually pretty good in Eastwood's White Hunter, Black Heart.

I really like White Hunter, Black Heart but I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with you on this one, he sticks out like a sore thumb.
That said, he was pretty much the only thing I enjoyed about Planet Terror. Major props, Jeff Fahey, you have aged like a fine wine.

[Polybius]

I find that I'm liking Fahey much more these days in his Old Coot mode than I did when he was trying to be a leading man type a couple of decades ago.

[dad1153]

Agree. The Fahey from "Body Parts" and "Darkman III" was just another direct-to-video caliber leading man while the Fahey from "Planet Terror" and "Lost" (to name just two of his many recent supporting roles) is an effortlessly cool mofo.

[dad1153]

Saw this at midnight Thursday in a reasonably packed theater. When it doesn't take itself seriously (which is often but not often enough... seriously, this is 105 minutes?! ) "Machete" lives up to the insanity of its "Grindhouse" trailer. BTW, the scenes from that trailer are awkwardly rammed into the narrative (and every TV ad selling this) which will be jarring for the handful of people that even know where this movie comes from; Padre Cheech with the shotguns (from the trailer) feels particularly awkward because of what comes before and after the shoe-horned scenes... and don't get me started on Machete's flying/exploding machine-gunning bike! ](*,) That said when this mother rocks it rocks hard and heavy, making clear this should have been the full-blown "Grindhouse" feature and "Planet Terror" a throwaway trailer. Rodriguez continues with his and Tarantino's (he's not in this if you were wondering) mission in life of finding cinematic virtue in a discredited genre, this time with very mixed success. There are about a dozen action moments (one involving intestines) and throwaway lines (often punctuated by Trejo's hierro doing massive CG damage) plus enough bad-assery on display from manly men (an OK but too-old-for-this-shit Danny, great Fahey and even freaking Seagal are really good when laying it thick) along with hot women (butch Michelle R., naked-in-shower-but-otherwise-terrible Alba, naked Lindsay Lohan) that the entire midnight crowd I saw this with was shouting and laughing with delight (with me going along). But there are lengthy in-between sections of the movie crammed with exposition (the first 15 minutes after the killer 5 min. intro are lethargic!) where Rodriguez gets preachy (Alba's 'the border crossed us' line could single-handedly win Jessica a Razzie Award, it's that bad!) and attention shifts toward lesser characters/actors (Don Johnson and DeNiro, surprisingly, turn out the weakest performances) that drag "Machete's" pace up and down. There are so many characters (good and bad) to keep track of that, when we reach the finale, Machete almost becomes an extra in his own movie!

It's definitely more "Planet Terror" and "Once Upon A Time in Mexico" than "Desperado" or "El Mariachi" but, if you love your action movies bloody, self-aware and inconsistent (what happens to Tom Savini's character halfway through the movie??!! #-o), "Machete" is to 2010 what "Grindhouse" was to 2007. If you're not a fan already you might as well wait to rent this.

[Two Cent James]

I haven't seen the film, but I thought Alba's "the border crossed us" line in the trailer came off as a hilarious albeit nonsensical play on Malcolm X's famous "we didn't land on Plymouth Rock - that rock landed on us" quote.

Maybe it didn't have the same effect within the context of the film, but it made me laugh when I first saw it.

[Alphonse Doinel]

Would have loved for another double feature with this an Hobo With A Shotgun. Nothing like a good combo of Mexican and Canadian exploitation.

[Kellen]

Just got back from watching Machete. Overall I was pleased. I thought that the time Steven Seagall was on screen that he was funny; He wasn't taking himself too seriously. Also, I liked De Niro in this one it was nice to see him having some fun hamming it up on screen. I really didn't like Alba too much, and her 'the border crossed us' speech towards the film's conclusion didn't cut it for me. Danny Trejo, Jeff Fahey, and Cheech were my favorite characters in the movie. I always thought Trejo was sweet since I seen him in 'From Dusk till Dawn' way back when I was in high school. He was perfect as the weathered/rugged bad ass in this movie. Fahey did a really solid job, and Cheech had a pretty funny one liner when talking to his bro in the chapel. Lohan really didn't have to do too much it seemed like she just had to act/mock her real life and boom! that was her character. Michelle Rodriguez played her typical 'bad/tuff girl' self like she does whenever I see her. The blood and gore was pretty funny and over the top which is what I expected. The political tones in the film did kinda wear on me towards the end, and the film did seem to be a tad long. Overall though I thought the film was pretty fun and I enjoyed it!

[domino harvey]

This was just too much. I enjoyed Planet Terror a great deal, but while both films have probably the same amount of gore and violence, Machete lacks the earlier picture's constant novelty. It doesn't help that the over the top and queasy opener turned me off immediately and the film had to work twice as hard to get me back in its groove-- so I was thankful for those "deadly" fifteen minutes decried above. There are some funny moments sprinkled throughout, and some bright moments of creativity shine through (the hilarious shot of Machete exiting an empty hospital cart was funnier than the gory, audience-pleasing sight gag that follows it), but after a while I just got tired. There are only so many ways I can watch a guy get killed. I also started getting distracted by some really obnoxious directorial overkill. Compare, say, the shot of the corkscrew in this to the shot of the gun at the beginning of Redbelt for a Goofus and Gallant approach to pure cinema. Michelle Rodriguez is sexy fun in the first half, but she gets pushed to the side for less interesting characters as the film progresses into a marathon of "I get it"s. It's so easy to say that a film based on a trailer works better at a shorter length, but, well... I appreciated the political cleverness of the film's premise (even if it did crib from Bob Roberts), but the executions just drag.

[dad1153]

Looks like 'Machete Kills' is a tentative go. Hope they keep 'They Fucked With the Wrong Mexican' as the tagline! :-)

[stroszeck]

THis was just ok...like someone else said on another board the revival of the grindhouse cinema has been fairly mediocre. What struck me the most though, or perhaps just because I haven't seen her in anything else really, was how horrible an actress Jessica Alba is. I mean, yikes. How she gets acting work (beyond her looks) is pretty appalling. She makes Jennifer Lopez look like Hye-ja Kim.

[domino harvey]

I don't remember buying it but sure enough, there was Machete Kills in my unwatched pile. Time to build a wall around my DVD collection, I guess. This sequel ends up marginally better than the first, with the same complaints from the first installment C+Ped to this one: It's way, way, way too long to sustain itself, the violence is monotonous (and this time heavily-CGI'd), and the political commentary halfhearted. It was perversely fascinating to see how far Mel Gibson had fallen to take what is essentially the biggest non-Trejo role in this film as a ridiculous billionaire cult leader, even sporting a hilariously hideous outfit in the last act. Impossible to imagine Gibson ten years ago seeing this in his future. Since Rodriguez throws so much at the screen, some of the bits stick, but so much more falters and fails miserably (see: every scene with Sofia Vergara), and the good is not nearly good enough to make this worth sitting through. The more films I see from Rodriguez, the more I appreciate how all his quirks and crutches worked so well in harmony in Planet Terror, but I feel like there's only so many times I can see the same ol' tricks trotted out like this.