The Armond White Thread

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HistoryProf
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:48 am
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#626 Post by HistoryProf »

domino harvey wrote:I find his polished stuff dull and unmemorable-- he has no ideas about film outside of the flamethrower approach he's honed at NYP. His essays for Criterion are like the studious but rote papers that bored academics parse together a couple times a year for tenure-required conferences, the sort that audiences fidget politely through and then instantly forget when the next person starts speaking
yep. the Z essay was remarkable only for what it wasn't: insane ramblings from a paranoid-schizophrenic, which is what he sounds like when he turns a review of Salt into a tea-party manifesto, or any number of his other recent fever-induced ramblings. What he does in the Criterion pieces is largely straightforward, pseudo-academic, trite, and devoid of any real personal insight - which is what the best essays offer. All they really do is prove he is indeed capable of coherence, or at least he is in the hands of an actual editor, but not much else. I hate that they give him any work though, and I hope his recent descent into madness has put an end to the relationship. Anyone who pens lines like
Such escapist action tropes somehow make suspense indistinguishable from sedition.
simply can not be taken seriously. for fuck's sake.
Numero Trois
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#627 Post by Numero Trois »

The June 2010 issue of Sight & Sound polled several dozen critics on what they think are the "most inspirational five books about film ever written." The subject of this thread selected two books from Pauline Kael, one from Andrew Sarris and one from Richard Dyer. Ok, fair enough as it goes. So what was his fifth selection? Nothing else than The Resistance: Ten Years of Pop Culture That Shook the World. A book written of course by the man himself, Armond White. No blurb accompanied that selection. Maybe he thought that speaks for itself.
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HistoryProf
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#628 Post by HistoryProf »

wait....you mean White was one of the critics polled, and in his five choices he included his OWN book? Jesus H Christ on a cracker. hilarious. He truly is nothing but a delusional megalomaniac.
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zedz
Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2004 11:24 pm

Re: The Armond White Thread

#629 Post by zedz »

What did he think it was, the criterionforum.org Lists Project or something?
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domino harvey
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#630 Post by domino harvey »

That's like when Edward Dmytryk and Cecil B DeMille named their own movies on their ten best films ever made tallies
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knives
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:49 pm

Re: The Armond White Thread

#631 Post by knives »

Ernest Borgnine recently listed Marty as one of his top five. By White standards this is really tame.
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domino harvey
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#632 Post by domino harvey »

zedz wrote:What did he think it was, the criterionforum.org Lists Project or something?
I have no problem voting for my own films. Hello, my name is Peter Bogdanovich
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matrixschmatrix
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 3:26 am

Re: The Armond White Thread

#633 Post by matrixschmatrix »

domino harvey wrote:That's like when Edward Dmytryk and Cecil B DeMille named their own movies on their ten best films ever made tallies
It's worse- there's a difference between 'best' and 'most influential', and while it's pretty goddamned egotistical to vote for something you did as one of the best things ever made it's much worse to cite yourself as a major influence.

Although, in White's case, it would be pretty accurate for him just to list his book and a picture of his own asshole as influences.
stroszeck
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 2:42 am

Re: The Armond White Thread

#634 Post by stroszeck »

Here's Borgnine's official top 5 films of all time.

I particularly enjoyed the Dino DeLaurentiis entry at #4
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oldsheperd
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 9:18 pm
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#635 Post by oldsheperd »

I couldn't read the rest of the list when I saw Life is Beautiful on his list. But hell what can you expect from some guy who was a huge Dubya supporter with a wife who's a poor man's Zsa Zsa Gabor?
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domino harvey
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#637 Post by domino harvey »

Ebert's retort to Armond White claiming he "destroyed film criticism"
Roger Ebert wrote:I was actually quite chuffed to read this. He's the only one of my colleagues willing to admit the power of my influence.
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Markson
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:50 am

Re: The Armond White Thread

#638 Post by Markson »

Considering all he's been through, it's quite admirable that Ebert remains a classy dude. I'm not always on board with his criticism, but he's clearly smart and his love of film is infectious. Armond, however, continues to bend time and space by finding new ways to be impossible to take seriously.
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dx23
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#639 Post by dx23 »

From his review of Machete
If this kind of selfconscious cinema junk is to be enjoyed, it can only be enjoyed by morons.
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matrixschmatrix
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 3:26 am

Re: The Armond White Thread

#640 Post by matrixschmatrix »

Haha Armond White is basically Pat from Achewood- compare that comment to "However, I more enjoy his music intentionally, rather than out of any genuine joy that it creates for me. It just seems responsible to own some."
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Alphonse Doinel
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#641 Post by Alphonse Doinel »

recalls the underrated (yet brilliant) Jonah Hex
Again Armond? Really?
J Adams
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:28 pm

Re: The Social Network (David Fincher, 2010)

#642 Post by J Adams »

Armond is not a fan. Of The Social Network, that is.
Last edited by J Adams on Thu Sep 30, 2010 4:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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mfunk9786
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Re: The Social Network (David Fincher, 2010)

#643 Post by mfunk9786 »

SHOCK
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Jeff
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:49 am
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#644 Post by Jeff »

I couldn't guess in advance which movie(s) Armond would say were better. I certainly didn't see this one coming.
Armond White wrote:Not Soul Man, Harvard Man nor The Paper Chase—all movies that “got Harvard” to varying instructive degrees—The Social Network is simply Hollywood’s way, post- Obama, of sanctioning Harvard’s “masters of the universe” mystique.
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John Cope
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#645 Post by John Cope »

Oh, he loves Soul Man. He wrote a whole separate piece on it somewhere.

As to this review, it's certainly no shock as he has never had anything good to say about Fincher.
Grand Illusion
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:56 am

Re: The Armond White Thread

#646 Post by Grand Illusion »

Armond White wrote:a frighteningly casual presentation of the self-righteous hostility that has become Internet etiquette.
Self-righteous hostility, you say?
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HistoryProf
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#647 Post by HistoryProf »

He's also extended the Social Network review into a screed against Rotten Tomatoes 'groupthink' and the downfall of film criticism (except his own unfettered beacon of truth of course).
Reviews of blockbuster films Toy Story 3 and Inception by established professional film critics (myself particularly) received a record number of largely intemperate posts on the RottenTomatoes site
\:D/
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Markson
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 9:50 am

Re: The Armond White Thread

#648 Post by Markson »

He seems more desperate and incoherent than usual. His use of (poorly employed) verbal razzle-dazzle to mask his half-baked notions reminds me of my first semester as an English major. Not a new criticism, I know, but, god God, this guy... A perverse idea, but, can anyone else picture him as a reality show villain?
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mfunk9786
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#649 Post by mfunk9786 »

If anyone's familiar with radio UFO crackpot Riley Martin, his are the mannerisms and voice that I hear in my head whenever I read an Armond review.
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Forrest Taft
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:34 am
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Re: The Armond White Thread

#650 Post by Forrest Taft »

For some reason the voice I hear is that of Kramer's lawyer in Seinfeld. If they ever make a biopic...
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