Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

Discuss North American DVDs, Blu-rays, UHDs, and related topics
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colinr0380
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:30 pm
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2001 Post by colinr0380 »

Mr Sausage wrote:When people told me the American version of Pulse was terrible, they weren't kidding.
It can't be worse than Feardotcom can it?
dx23 wrote:Image
I'm sorry for being late to this, but I love the way the cat is doing that kind of sassy "yeah I'm cute and don't I know it" head tilt towards the camera. Also is Page meant to be holding the cat up, or is it really meant to look at if she has her hand somewhere manipulating it like a glove puppet? All of which is adding a Sabrina The Teenage Witch vibe to that cover.

As to the film itself I have no idea as to its quality but since seemingly every recent Canadian TV movie turns up on weekday afternoons on Channel 5 over here, I'm sure I'll get the opportunity to check it out some time soon.
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CSM126
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2002 Post by CSM126 »

If by "recent" you mean "twelve years old", then sure.
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colinr0380
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2003 Post by colinr0380 »

2004 is within Channel 5's TV movie remit so its not beyond the bounds of possibility (anything prior to 2002 though is more unlikely!) - I'm not sure I would pay to see it so TV is my best hope.

Please Channel 5 don't let me down on my chance to see a film that I imagine involves Ellen Page and her sassy cat hand puppet (who like Sooty doesn't have a voice of its own but whispers clues into her ear) going into seemingly haunted suburban houses to investigate decades old unsolved crimes.

(Or have I just described the plot of Miranda July's next film?)
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Kirkinson
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2004 Post by Kirkinson »

colinr0380 wrote:I'm not sure I would pay to see it so TV is my best hope.
It's your lucky day: the whole thing is on YouTube.
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colinr0380
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2005 Post by colinr0380 »

Thanks for the link, although having watched some of it my hopes about the film involving a cat puppet that gets involved in paranormal investigations now lie in tatters!
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dx23
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2006 Post by dx23 »

Image
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The Narrator Returns
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2007 Post by The Narrator Returns »

Starring

Rob Schneider as John Hodgman
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Murdoch
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2008 3:59 am
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2008 Post by Murdoch »

And Lindsay Lohan as Pamela Anderson
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dx23
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2009 Post by dx23 »

Image
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Adam X
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2010 Post by Adam X »

That film looks hilarious.
I am curious to see how the Amazon exorcist surfers manage to destroy the great beast. Clearly Universal missed an opportunity in Jaws 5.
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Lemmy Caution
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2011 Post by Lemmy Caution »

I sing the body Electra!
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Brian C
I hate to be That Pedantic Guy but...
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2012 Post by Brian C »

Image
In case you're wondering, that ugly Rotten Tomatoes tag is not a sticker, but actually printed on the cover itself. Good grief.
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Shrew
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2013 Post by Shrew »

I imagine the process here was some exec going "Quick! We just won Best Doc! Tell some kid to slap a picture of the award on the cover" and then some miserable intern trying to figure out what award everyone's talking about comes up with "Certified Fresh".
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dx23
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2014 Post by dx23 »

Image
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Kirkinson
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2015 Post by Kirkinson »

I agree that's atrocious, but honestly, how could there be a better cover for that movie?
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Gregory
Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 8:07 pm

Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2016 Post by Gregory »

Having a black man pointing at some chicken and making bulgy eyes isn't even anywhere close to funny; seems like they were just hard up for ways to draw attention to what looks to be just another one of those dire spoof movies. Tony Cox seems willing to appear almost anywhere a dwarf/elf/ewok/munchkin is needed, no matter how dumb it is, as long as there's a paycheck.
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CSM126
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2017 Post by CSM126 »

It's hard out there for an imp.


(sorry)
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The Narrator Returns
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2018 Post by The Narrator Returns »

Image
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knives
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2019 Post by knives »

Isn't that the poster they've always used?
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The Narrator Returns
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2020 Post by The Narrator Returns »

No, I think this is the poster they used before;

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colinr0380
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2021 Post by colinr0380 »

Three big issues from that Starship Troopers cover:

1. They have stuck the female leads almost in a 'hugging the hero for comfort' position, which seems rather reductive!;

2. I have my suspicions that they have just used a still of Mars from Verhoeven's Total Recall for the background and stuck a dropship on there rather than using any Klendathu location, although that might just be because of the red hue;

and the big one:

3. They seem to have photoshopped Denise Richards into a trooper armour wielding a gun, while her character in the film is a pilot!
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dx23
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2022 Post by dx23 »

Image

And then someone instragramed it for Blu-ray

Image
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Gregory
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2023 Post by Gregory »

Looks like they were thinking a larger and more recognizable image of Lawrence Fishburne would sell more product... even though he's wearing those glasses and hat.
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knives
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2024 Post by knives »

Clearly he is reprising his role as Cowboy Curtis.
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Gregory
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Re: Worst DVD Covers...ever! (Part 3-D)

#2025 Post by Gregory »

But Death Wish 2 came before Fishburne's Playhouse stint, which means that Cowboy Curtis must have been reprising the character from Death Wish 2 (but for kids, of course).
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