'Rediculous' Customer & Critic Reviews

[bamwc2]

According to this author all of the films that are too long--with the exception of Empire--were made in the 1990s and beyond. I'm glad to hear that he thought so highly of all 321 minutes of Warhol's Sleep!

[Cash Flagg]

From the Time Out London review of Last American Virgin:

Accompanied by a mediocre music score (Commodores, Cars, Blondie, etc)

Mediocre! Reading that actually made me incredibly, pointlessly angry. Here's a partial track listing from that 'mediocre' soundtrack:

"In the Flesh" - Blondie
"Since You're Gone" - Cars
"Shake It Up" - The Cars
"Whip It" - Devo
"I Will Follow" - U2
"Zero Hour" - The Plimsoles
"Love Action (I Believe in Love)" - Human League

Is this a reader-submitted review? That's the only explanation/justification I can really think of.

[MichaelB]

Nope, it's the official Time Out review - I remember when it appeared.

I'm reasonably sure who 'SJo' is, but I'd like to double-check before outing her.

[Cash Flagg]

My reaction to the film itself wasn't dissimilar to hers, I was just a bit taken aback to read someone casually dismissing Blondie and The Cars as 'mediocre'.

[Altair]

SJo is Sheila Johnston - and I would say that the Time Out Film Guide is the best of its kind, even if it lacks the very personal critical response of Halliwell's or Leonard Maltin's.

[domino harvey]

I thought this user's review of I'll Be Seeing You was weird

Having the main character woman, who is the love interest, lie, deceive, and hide the facts about her prisoner status throughout the film is an immoral example for our folk and to be expected from the Hollywood writers and producers that this came from.

Such behavior is a bad example for children to view (and was at the time of release).

Dishonesty will not lead to a healthy love relationship, then or now, between any two persons. It is unhealthy to portray on screen, even in fiction, dishonesty as an acceptable model of behavior.

Otherwise, the "time capsule" value of the sets and language, etc., are interesting to study, as a piece of history.

So I looked into his other reviews and found this for Betrayed

Now all we need is a mirror-image film depicting the nastiest aspects of Jewish supremacism (such as producing films like this). But Hollywood wouldn't DARE make a film like that, would they? It's only okay to dump on Whites and White culture, not any other group.

This is a film that, for its intended message for the Sheeple masses, exceeded everything that Dr. Goebbels ever imagined, for propaganda.

Winger has a deer-in-the-headlights look almost completely throughout the film, because her character always knows something that her "lover" does not.

Okay, how about Capote?

Watched this last night. They have him crying over the impending execution of the inhumane, barbaric murderers, yet never once crying over the brutal massacre, in their own beds, of the farm family and their children! Anyone who would skew those values is plain evil, with some ulterior agenda.

The movie depicts Capote paying a cash bribe to the warden of the state prison in order to get frequent access to the prisoners. Oh really? Is there any real evidence of that (not shown in the film) or is that just another Hollywood "device"?

What about the parts of this story that are entirely left out? What about Capote's earnings, career, and homosexual lifestyle BEFORE all this happens? What about WHO, exactly, by Zionist name, is financing and promoting him at the time? I couldn't pick up the name, background, and income source of his homosexual partner during all this. Was it even mentioned in all of this film?

Capote comes across as nothing more than an opportunistic, lying, amoral profiteer who enriches himself off of the death of innocents.

Once again, out of Hollywood, we find a crime-related film that degrades the life of the victims and glamorizes the criminals.

Minus 5 stars. Do NOT let any children watch this, or pay one dime for it, ever.

And then it weren't clear already, here's a five-star review for Prussian Blue

Beautiful music by two beautiful, talented young ladies. A permanent joy!

For all music-lovers everywhere; no collection is really complete without adding this hard-to-find album.

What's weird is a lot of his other reviews are pro-Asiatic peoples, so I don't think he's a white supremacist?

[knives]

Maybe he's HP Lovecraft?

[matrixschmatrix]

I don't know, but this

As a teacher and student for over 20 years

(from an Excel textbook review) is what scares me the most

edit:

Similarly, FDR's relentless motivation for getting into the war -- constantly baffling to the author -- becomes obvious when one acknowledges the 1933 declaration of war on Germans and Germany by the World Jewish Congress. Read _Germany Must Perish_, for example. Ambassador Joseph Kennedy and Charles Lindbergh knew exactly what FDR was up to, and were not shy in their public statements. So, FDR fired Kennedy and recalled him from London, and sicced the FBI onto Lindbergh. It's very enlightening to read Kennedy and Lindbergh on this issue.

Uh I think this dude might be an actual Nazi

[domino harvey]

Now that I think about it, didn't the "Chinese" government roll over for the Nazis after being infiltrated by Japan in WWII? Maybe that explains his tolerance?

[matrixschmatrix]

I think a lot of racial theory types aren't necessarily solely in favor of white people- they just think white people are the best, and have very clear rankings and class abilities assigned to the rest.

[Cold Bishop]

Hell, a lot of them think (the more attractive to them, at least) Asiatic people were basically whites whose bloodlines became a little too mixed over the ages. They're not going to let them into their Aryan country clubs, but they're willing to cut them some slack and give them a little credit.

Hence, the fascist-occult obsession with Eastern mysticism. Basically, once upon a time, these people were the ideal whites... but they lost their way, while Europeans maintained their racial purtiy (while being spiritually corrupted by Jewish religion, ie. Christianity). The whole thing's a confusing mess, appropriate for something based out of ignorance and superstition...

[bamwc2]

The whole thing's a confusing mess, appropriate for something based out of ignorance and superstition...

Absolutely. Although I'm only tangentially familiar with their ramblings, I believe that they sometimes use the term "Asiatics" to refer to whites as well given that Caucasians originated in the Caucasus Mountains. Of course, as Cold Bishop notes, for every piece of history in their worldview, there's about five pseudohistorical facts gumming it up.

[bamwc2]

The Onion's review of Lee Daniels' The Butler makes me wish that there were an "Apt Customer & Critic Reviews" thread to post this in.

[Gregory]

This Amazon reviewer is a regular Marcel Proust.

[jindianajonz]

This Amazon reviewer is a regular Marcel Proust.

I had assumed that somebody spent a weekend going through Amazon and leaving notes on things they remembered, but these reviews span from 2006 to 2010. You'd think in 4 years she would develop something more interesting to say than "I remember seeing this once"

[matrixschmatrix]

Favorite:

I remember this game, but never played it

I wanted to play Don't wake daddy in when I was in elementary school, but I couldn't because one of my classmates cheated. Which was very stupid.

[Michael Kerpan]

Performance artist -- or nitwit? You be the judge!

[tenia]

They managed to include White Chicks in the list, and to propose some further cut on the already heavily-cut Kingdom of Heaven.

Anyway. There are stuff I actually agree with (like the ending of Cast Away or on PoCaribbean) but globally, it's as pointless as it looks.

[swo17]

Amazon encourages off-topic reviews by linking to this on their front page.

[domino harvey]

The first movie, simply titles "Tales From The Crypt", was released in 1972 and featured a bunch of actors no one ever heard of. The movie more closely resembled the original comic, which actually sucks because shortly after the comic's creation it became a victim of the Comics Code Authority, another group of people looking to protect our children from having any fun. The Cryptkeeper in the movie was also portrayed by a real person instead of a puppet. Who the hell wants to see real actors when puppets are on the table? Seriously.

[MichaelB]

The first movie, simply titles "Tales From The Crypt", was released in 1972 and featured a bunch of actors no one ever heard of.

Joan Collins, Peter Cushing, Patrick Magee, Ralph Richardson - nonentities all.

[Mr Sausage]

Joan Collins, Peter Cushing, Patrick Magee, Ralph Richardson - nonentities all.

Especially when puppets are on the table!

[zedz]

Who the hell wants to see real actors when puppets are on the table? Seriously.

I intend to make full use of this awesome catch-all critique. Great find, domino!

[mfunk9786]

[Foam]

Blue Jasmine