Cats (Tom Hooper, 2019)

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#1 Post by **domino harvey** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:54 pm

Alexa, tell me about a movie I never want to see

Michael Kerpan · #2 Post by **Michael Kerpan** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 8:46 pm

domino harvey wrote: Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:54 pm Alexa, tell me about a movie I never want to see

Long ago, when our family was on vacation -- in a location with limited TV choices -- a broadcast of this "musical" came on. After listening/watching for about for about 5 minutes, all our children begged us to turn the TV off (they had no idea what it was -- and I had never proselytized against ALW).

Never Cursed · #3 Post by **Never Cursed** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:13 am

domino harvey wrote: Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:54 pm Alexa, tell me about a movie I never want to see

Universal showed footage of this at CinemaCon, revealing that the titular cats will be mocap-aided CG. One commentator on Twitter described it as “Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Avatar.”

And that, unfortunately, makes three posts on this film.

#4 Post by **domino harvey** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:18 am

They’re apparently also going to be shrunk down to be actual cat-sized in real settings as opposed to making everything bigger and staged, which makes this whole project even more surreal/likely to be an elaborate prank on an entire world

Big Ben · #5 Post by **Big Ben** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:31 am

Cats is one of those things that everytime I'm reminded of it I'm in awe that it exists. It's a musical about self aware cats that break the fourth wall and while that may sound intriguing I can assure you it's so utterly and shamefully awful. I'm sure I like the many of you can't wait to see Jason Derulo wax poetic as Rum Tum Tugger or watch "Cats" named Munkustrap and Skimbleshanks pontificate about a literal cat heaven (Which is a part of the narrative.).

I'll eat crow if the movie is somehow good but my prediction is that it'll become a memeable joke because I cannot fathom how anyone could turn Cats into something tolerable. It's awful. The musical is also an unbelievable (For this type of musical.) three hours long. So here's hoping Hooper is merciful and cuts chunks out.

Imagine this but millions upon millions of dollars thrown at it WITH CGI:

Zinoviev · #6 Post by **Zinoviev** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:47 am

It can't possibly be as fabulous as "Zoo Animals on Wheels."

jsteffe · #7 Post by **jsteffe** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 5:17 am

I still remember watching this with my mom years ago, and we turned to each other in disbelief. It's nothing but a VERY LONG musical revue with clever cat costumes. I can see it working for people because of the unique atmosphere it creates on the stage , but the underlying source material isn't great. It just can't sustain a feature film.

knives · #8 Post by **knives** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 12:52 pm

Well the underlying source material is pretty fun. It's just the musical that's rubbish.

Timec · #9 Post by **Timec** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:05 pm

I actually like a lot of Lloyd-Webber’s score—and the concept is… Unique. It’s an essentially plotless revue with performers in bizarre cat costumes singing the lyrics of TS Eliot.

But the show itself doesn’t work for me at all. I found the recent Broadway revival interminable.

Roscoe · #10 Post by **Roscoe** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:06 pm

They can't say they didn't know what they were getting into. I'm amazed that Rob Marshall didn't get the job.

Brian C · #11 Post by **Brian C** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 1:10 pm

I grew up listening to the Cats soundtrack on road trips (alternating with John Denver and Bette Midler's Beaches soundtrack). Spoiler alert: it was Mungojerrie AND Rumpelteazer.

Roscoe · #12 Post by **Roscoe** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 2:59 pm

I'll cop to seeing the show on Broadway, very early in its original run. It just seemed like an amusing little idea for a revue that got really horribly overblown in that Trevor Nunn way, the fun curdled into self-importance and faux seriousness and it all got to be overbearing and ultimately ridiculous. Wild horses couldn't drag me to see the film.

jsteffe · #13 Post by **jsteffe** » Thu Apr 04, 2019 4:14 pm

knives wrote: Thu Apr 04, 2019 12:52 pm Well the underlying source material is pretty fun. It's just the musical that's rubbish.

Ha! Thank you for the correction. I don't meant the Eliot book of course, but the musical. The soundtrack album without people in cat costumes is OK, and "Memory" has become a pop standard. If the Three Tenors sang it, it must be good!

Cremildo · #14 Post by **Cremildo** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:20 pm

Trailer. Brace yourselves.

#15 Post by **DarkImbecile** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:26 pm

Waiting eagerly for Domino to recant the first post in this thread

soundchaser · #16 Post by **soundchaser** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:29 pm

An audible, involuntary “oh, noooooo” sailed past my lips upon sight of the first cat.

#17 Post by **domino harvey** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:30 pm

So, this is just big budget furry porn

soundchaser · #18 Post by **soundchaser** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:31 pm

Plus the all-important terrible attempts at slapstick!

#19 Post by **domino harvey** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:32 pm

She’s a literal fat cat

beamish14 · #20 Post by **beamish14** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:37 pm

Jesus, even with less than 10 seconds of screentime in that trailer, Rebel Wilson managed to annoy the hell out of me.

#21 Post by **Finch** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:46 pm

As if I needed more reasons to avoid this film, that insufferable James Corden is in it.

#22 Post by **DarkImbecile** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:48 pm

soundchaser wrote: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:29 pm An audible, involuntary “oh, noooooo” sailed past my lips upon sight of the first cat.

This was the shot that made me start laughing audibly at my desk:

#23 Post by **Matt** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:49 pm

I'm going back into my hidey-hole. This trailer makes me never want to see another movie again.

thatobscurecharm · Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:57 pm

Holy crap. I love the stage show, but goodness that was a mess.

Big Ben · #25 Post by **Big Ben** » Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:59 pm

When I stated above that Cats was bad I had no idea the film version would be doing the stage version justice in the awful department. This is above and beyond my wildest expectations.

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