Crit Mess in July: A Dynamic History of the Time Criterion Didn't Make Announcements on the 15th, 16th, or 17th

[John Shade]

They're trying to get Paul George in a trade...

[bainbridgezu]

I wonder if there's one title that needs some final sign-off or something that is holding everything up.

The Interns have Boris Eustache at gunpoint, waiting for him to give in.

[FrauBlucher]

The interns have joined the Amazon strike which is gumming up the works

[captveg]

At least we'll all remember where we were and which computer interface we were using during The Great Announcement Delay.

[domino harvey]

This is our Altamont

[mfunk9786]

I have to do an hour+ of highway driving to get to a 35mm screening of Jackie Brown (humblebrag) in about 15 minutes so it is very important that this comes to a halt

[bainbridgezu]

The interns have joined the Amazon strike which is gumming up the works

To make matters worse, the full-scale Godzilla parade balloon Toho sent them for the announcement is now roaming Manhattan unchaperoned

[mfunk9786]

[captveg]

This is our Altamont

If I had any video/photoshop stills I'd totally put up a video of being shown the constant Coming Soon page refreshes on a moviola.

[FrauBlucher]

I wonder if there's one title that needs some final sign-off or something that is holding everything up.

Lena Dunham had a problem with her commentary track for Son of Godzilla

[domino harvey]

The interns have joined the Amazon strike which is gumming up the works

To make matters worse, the full-scale Godzilla parade balloon Toho sent them for the announcement is now roaming Manhattan unchaperoned

Film Twitter’s response: “Hey, the shadow from this stupid balloon is blocking my screen in the middle of me writing my thinkpiece on Aziz Ansari’s new standup special”

[Brian C]

Just think of all the people who have died over the last two days that got cheated out of finding out what spine #1000 would be.

[domino harvey]

I wonder if there's one title that needs some final sign-off or something that is holding everything up.

Lena Dunham had a problem with her commentary track for Son of Godzilla

These are your Tokyos

[mfunk9786]

I just looked at the Criterion Reddit page and remind me to never do that again

[captveg]

At this point I'm kinda expecting for them to announce a wave of previous titles going out of print instead.

[Omensetter]

I wonder if there's one title that needs some final sign-off or something that is holding everything up.

Lena Dunham had a problem with her commentary track for Son of Godzilla

These are you mutated iguanas

[domino harvey]

I just looked at the Criterion Reddit page and remind me to never do that again

If anyone ever wants to know what the Dot Com forum was like, there it is

[swo17]

I have to do an hour+ of highway driving to get to a 35mm screening of Jackie Brown (humblebrag) in about 15 minutes so it is very important that this comes to a halt

They're up

Spoiler

just kidding

[FrauBlucher]

Brutal

[The Narrator Returns]

Spoiler

Joe Eszterhas come again

[bainbridgezu]

Just think of all the people who have died over the last two days that got cheated out of finding out what spine #1000 would be.

When I saw Infinity War, a sobbing child's parents consoled him that

Spoiler

Spider-Man wasn't really dead and would be in the next film. He replied: "But what if I die before it comes out? Then Spider-Man will always be dead to me."

That child has remained a source of haunting hilarity in my life ever since.

[mfunk9786]

Ha, remember when people were inexplicably spoiler-tagging title announcements for a while? Good times.

[domino harvey]

Just think of all the people who have died over the last two days that got cheated out of finding out what spine #1000 would be.

When I saw Infinity War, a sobbing child's parents consoled him that

Spoiler

Spider-Man wasn't really dead and would be in the next film. He replied: "But what if I die before it comes out? Then Spider-Man will always be dead to me."

That child has remained a source of haunting hilarity in my life ever since.

This is truly the best thread

[domino harvey]

Spoiler

Joe Eszterhas come again

Eww

[Never Cursed]

Spoiler

Joe Eszterhas come again

Eww

I like it if you read it as a question