Crit Mess in July: A Dynamic History of the Time Criterion Didn't Make Announcements on the 15th, 16th, or 17th

[Brian C]

Just think of all the people who have died over the last two days that got cheated out of finding out what spine #1000 would be.

When I saw Infinity War, a sobbing child's parents consoled him that

Spoiler

Spider-Man wasn't really dead and would be in the next film. He replied: "But what if I die before it comes out? Then Spider-Man will always be dead to me."

That child has remained a source of haunting hilarity in my life ever since.

Yeah, that kid's just waiting to discover the Coen brothers.

[mfunk9786]

Or he's this kid.

[Graphist]

All possible criteria have been exhausted! No more left. This is the day the Earth stood still!

[soundchaser]

The Criterion Twitter account is actively retweeting things, so someone must still be in the office laughing at us.

[domino harvey]

Tamara’s revenge took a while but props where they’re due

[The Narrator Returns]

The Criterion intern rn

[mfunk9786]

WELLP I have to go and I'm not happy about it, bye guyssss be good to each other

[Omensetter]

I could be outside or something right now.

[DarkImbecile]

The Criterion Twitter account is actively retweeting things, so someone must still be in the office laughing at us.

Including a happy birthday message to Wong Kar-wai, just to make this more agonizing for me.

[bainbridgezu]

Tamara’s revenge took a while but props where they’re due

A thousand spines' worth of no announcements begins today. See you all in 2040!

[domino harvey]

Mfunk’s face when he checks this thread

[criterionoop]

Remember the good old days of Phantom Pages?

[domino harvey]

Remember no announcements and you had to discover new titles by playing with the file name of the cover art URL?

[ng4996]

Could the delay possibly be a clue for a Tarr film? [-o<

[dda1996a]

Mfunk’s face when he checks this thread

You can't just throw around HHH's photo like that, and on un-announcment day!

[Brian C]

Could the delay possibly be a clue for a Tarr film? [-o<

Or maybe

[ng4996]

Could the delay possibly be a clue for a Tarr film? [-o<

Or maybe

Ah yes, the long awaited entrance of Kevin Sussman into the collection!

[bainbridgezu]

Remember no announcements and you had to discover new titles by playing with the file name of the cover art URL?

Since we're dating ourselves, anyone else remember the guy who made custom metal cases for the Suzuki and Woo films? Think his site was linked from here way, WAY back.

[Noiradelic]

Could the delay possibly be a clue for a Tarr film? [-o<

No, just the Godzilla and Wong Kar-Wai sets and Citizen Kane. Oh, and The Devils.

[dwk]

looks like we know who is to blame

[Graphist]

Armageddon is upon us! This is just in!

“Things are in disarray at the headquarters! Criterion staff is nowhere to be seen. Not even the always available Job Mulvaney! Upon inspection the Criterion Closet, the grail of all grail rooms has been cleaned out pretty much completely by a mob of angry and hot (aka. sweaty) Criterion customers. All is left is two Jellyfish Eyes and one Tiny Furniture DVDs”

[cdnchris]

I just looked at the Criterion Reddit page and remind me to never do that again

If anyone ever wants to know what the Dot Com forum was like, there it is

Until somebody complains how My Private Idaho has too much "gayity" content, it will be nothing like it.

[ng4996]

Could the delay possibly be a clue for a Tarr film? [-o<

No, just the Godzilla and Wong Kar-Wai sets and Citizen Kane. Oh, and The Devils.

Perhaps the hold up is that we're only getting boxsets this month

[DarkImbecile]

Only boxsets with no spine numbers, thus extending the wait for #1000 another month

[domino harvey]

Criterion is that college student who waits to the last minute and then the printer jams