Cats (Tom Hooper, 2019)

[colinr0380]

Woof, what a trailer. Sonic does not look quite that bad now. Is it a bad sign that Rebel Wilson and James Corden appear to be the least irritating performers in that trailer? And why does Judi Dench come across as being in her sexiest role ever as presumably the 'cougar' of the pack?

This just reminds me of why I really don't have any interest in the musical theatre. I even had to go back to Victor Lewis-Smith's libelous fake "Honest Obituary" for Lloyd Webber in the TV Offal series to recover from the trailer.

EDIT (2nd February): And I am finally watching through The Critic series and had to smile at the serendipitous Cats joke in there, which appears to be just as relevant 25 years later as it was when it was made! And yes, that is a papier mache modelled back end of a horse on fire careening into the theatre!

[Big Ben]

Is Judi Dench's "fur coat" part of her own fur or did she make a coat from her slain brethren? Everything is so confusing.

[jsteffe]

I’m not sure what’s worse about this trailer: the horrible CGI cat people, or Jennifer Hudson screaming Memory at the top of her lungs, which is the exact opposite of how that song should ever be performed.

Yes - it doesn't fit the song, and it can't be good for her vocal chords, either!

[Feego]

I’m not sure what’s worse about this trailer: the horrible CGI cat people, or Jennifer Hudson screaming Memory at the top of her lungs, which is the exact opposite of how that song should ever be performed. Also, shouldn’t Dame Judi Dench be the one playing the old dying cat, not young and vibrant Ms. Hudson?

I've never seen a production of Cats, but I thought the same thing about Hudson's rendition. My impression was always that it was meant to be sad and mournful, not a power ballad. On the whole, this just looks to satisfy no one. I can't imagine theatre aficionados will take kindly to all of these CGI nightmares as opposed to genuine dancing and costumes. I mean, maybe this will appeal to Taylor Swift fans, but I assume even they would get more enjoyment out of just listening to the soundtrack.

On that note, I'd like to think Swift got this role on John Cleese's recommendation.

[CSM126]

Granted, Memory does build to some genuinely belted notes, but it’s nothing like whatever Hudson is doing in the trailer. Don’t get me wrong, Jennifer Hudson is a very gifted singer, but whoever told her to do that either doesn’t know the song very well or just cast that aside in favor of showing off how loud their legit Broadway star can sing.

Maybe we’ll get lucky and the actual movie will use a different take where it’s done right. Not holding my breath on it, though.

If we were really lucky they’d reshoot the whole thing with the cast in face paint, leotards and fur coats like the stage production. Sadly, we are not lucky.

[Roscoe]

This is the same director who allowed the TommyWiseau-level embarassment of Russell Crowe's Javert in that misbegotten LES MISERABLES.

As for the CATS themselves, well, they look just like the little creatures who've escaped from a government lab at the beginning of the horror movie, cute but more than a bit sinister, who eventually develop an insatiable hunger for human flesh and world conquest. I was filled with a desire to scoop them all into a sack and club them to death.

[swo17]

They aren't corporeal and can't be scooped

[Roscoe]

No, but the film they're in can be avoided, and like the plague.

[colinr0380]

I don't know, I'm just not feline it from this trailer.

[mteller]

from another forum:

I literally didn't know this film existed until about an hour ago. I am very excited as I think Cats is a great musical (the songs are fun, the dancing is spectacular, the story such that it is, is fine and isn't the point). It is going to be a long couple months dealing with the absolute worst snobs in the world trying to get cool points for hating on the massively popular thing, thinking that makes them edgy and cool, but in fact it is even more popular to hate it so it just makes them trite and lame.

Guys, where can I collect my "cool points", and what can I redeem them for?

[Luke M]

Reminds me of that alt-right guy who said conservatism is the new punk.

[Finch]

On the bright side, this could be a future camp classic.

[colinr0380]

Like Catwoman!

[Feego]

I just stared at the screencap at the top of the previous page for about 30 seconds, and good God is it a creepy train wreck. Even static, the head seems to float independently from the body. In a perversely masochistic way, I actually would like to watch this (in the distant future, on a small screen), as it promises to be a singularly bizarre exercise in what the hell was anybody thinking? I had no idea prior to the release of this trailer that Dench and McKellen were involved.

[domino harvey]

from another forum:

I literally didn't know this film existed until about an hour ago. I am very excited as I think Cats is a great musical (the songs are fun, the dancing is spectacular, the story such that it is, is fine and isn't the point). It is going to be a long couple months dealing with the absolute worst snobs in the world trying to get cool points for hating on the massively popular thing, thinking that makes them edgy and cool, but in fact it is even more popular to hate it so it just makes them trite and lame.

Guys, where can I collect my "cool points", and what can I redeem them for?

The post you quoted is an outlier. Even fans of musical theater (a very different thing than fans of film musicals, which doesn’t help the popular misconception of the art form) that I’ve seen have been distancing themselves from this apparent monstrosity. Apart from whatever the normal minute degree of differentiation in any broad spectrum of reactions, overall the response to this is the single most universally negative take in recent memory— worse than Sonic, really, because that film doesn’t need four quadrant support like this one does

[swo17]

I don't know how this correlates, but some people at my work were just talking about dressing up as lions to go see The Lion King

[mteller]

from another forum:

I literally didn't know this film existed until about an hour ago. I am very excited as I think Cats is a great musical (the songs are fun, the dancing is spectacular, the story such that it is, is fine and isn't the point). It is going to be a long couple months dealing with the absolute worst snobs in the world trying to get cool points for hating on the massively popular thing, thinking that makes them edgy and cool, but in fact it is even more popular to hate it so it just makes them trite and lame.

Guys, where can I collect my "cool points", and what can I redeem them for?

The post you quoted is an outlier. Even fans of musical theater (a very different thing than fans of film musicals, which doesn’t help the popular misconception of the art form) that I’ve seen have been distancing themselves from this apparent monstrosity. Apart from whatever the normal minute degree of differentiation in any broad spectrum of reactions, overall the response to this is the single most universally negative take in recent memory— worse than Sonic, really, because that film doesn’t need four quadrant support like this one does

Oh for sure it's an outlier. This guy has a history of having... let's say "odd" opinions.

[therewillbeblus]

This should be good

[Altair]

We just need to accept that this will be a huge, critic-proof hit and move on.

[swo17]

What if they Sonic'd it?

[Never Cursed]

Trailer 2

[domino harvey]

They must be desperate if they're now trying to sneak this film past musical haters by not featuring a single song in the trailer. It still looks terrible, like a video game demo from 2011

[domino harvey]

We just need to accept that this will be a huge, critic-proof hit and move on.

I've been wrong before, but no way this is a hit

EDIT: Holy shit, I just read the budget for this film is $300 MILLION DOLLARS

[Roscoe]

They all look like the little animals that escape from some government facility at the beginning of a horror movie, and they get adopted by some lonely kid who has no friends, and it isn't long before they're indulging their appetite for human flesh.

As usual with this kind of thing, accusations of snobbery and reverse snobbery will be all over the place.

[Roger Ryan]

By framing the "story" as an talent show/elimination fest, the trailer feels like it wants you to associate the film with shows like The Bachelor and The Voice.