Major spoilers:
"From now on I only go to parties where no one gets cremated"
Emboldened by the journey through the boxset I decided to go a bit further and finally dig out the DVD of the 2008 US remake of One Missed Call from my 'to watch' pile. Its not great, but it fails in a lacklustre way rather than for any drastic liberties that it takes with the source material. In fact it is very faithful to the events of the original film (at least until the very final moments of the twist ending), but aside from a couple of notable shots and moments this is a great example of a film failing not because it is bad per se, but because it feels bland and empty of passion. Which is probably the worst thing that a film can be! I don't see many theatrical plays but I would guess that seeing a play that had a great (or at least entertaining) adaptation then get performed again by a competent and professional crew whose attachment to the story is just that little bit less, which then goes on to expose a certain hollowness to the proceedings, would feel much the same way as I did seeing the One Missed Call remake.
There are really three major problems here I think. The first is that I really like Shannyn Sossamon but she never really convinces as someone of college or university age (I wonder if she was cast because of her great role in Roger Avary's
The Rules of Attraction? Come to think of it, being influenced by Rules of Attraction may also make sense of some of the more 'daring' stylistic shots of One Missed Call where the shot-countershot in that first received call is directly to camera, with the friend handing her phone directly at the camera to let the heroine listen to the message!), but then none of the 'students' convince here that they are any younger than their late 20s so its a symptom of the entire film really. I think all of the actors are a bit hamstrung by that 'too old' issue despite doing good, if in Sossamon's case subdued, work. But that leads me to the second 'problem', which is that the script is mostly faithful to the original film but while it feels as if it has been adapted by someone who really grasped all the nuances of the 2003 original instead of keeping things vague and potentially confusing (as arguably Miike's film is), it is full, and I mean full, of lines of dialogue of people explaining the story to each other rather than it feeling as if it arises naturally through the events of the film. It is hard to explain, but this remake makes both the actions and motivations of every character explicit through dialogue, especially when we get to the final 'investigative' section of the historical child abuse, in which Ed Burns' character gets to narrate character motivations at Sossamon, and vice versa, in order to ensure that no member of the audience can be left unsure about what exactly happened. It is actually quite a good film to watch if someone found the Miike film confusing or obtuse in what was going on! It kind of feels like an early draft where the writer has got all of the themes (they have not spectacularly missed the point of the action, as in many of a J-horror remake!), but everything is too blunt, explicit and verbose to feel natural, in every area (including even set design and dressing with just a little bit too much trash on the ground to feel believable as our investigators pull up to the disappeared mother's apartment building!). It feels like there needed to be an extra draft to make everything a bit subtler that just never happened.
This issue is not just confined to the dialogue exchanges either, but it is there in the 'death messages' too: take the difference between the briefer, more prosaic/ironic dialogue in the pre-death messages in the Miike film: "Oh, no, its raining"; "Shit, I completely forgot"; "Why?..." with the same character's equivalent messages in the remake: "I don't know. It's the weirdest, weirdest thing. It's like every time I turn around there's..."; "Damn it, I forget. I swear that if I didn't have my head screwed on, I'd...."; "Why...Please, just tell me why!". They're all too long and fluffy to be tersely, scarily memorable. Or take the moment of piecing together the family photograph in the child's bedroom that in the Miike film has been torn up into little fragments and even then the mother's head is specifically missing, compared to the photograph in the remake just ripped into four equal sized quarters with no extra tampering to the image.
Talking of tampering to the image, that probably brings us to the third problem, which is the use of CGI. Miike's film was not exactly subtle about its ghosts either but here things are taken to extremes that are both absurd and generic. I am not sure exactly what the reason for including the flashes of demonic visions of characters with mouths for eyes or screaming fiery demons were meant to convey aside from upping the spooky factor of the early part of the film, but I was left feeling that the hallucination sequence in Jacob's Ladder still has a major influence over US horror and a lot to answer for! The visions that the cursed characters have get kind of hand waved away at the end of the film by a particularly creepy mother and child doll and centipedes being in the room of the abusive girl as she lay dying from an asthma attack, but it does not exactly have a particular purpose other than jump scares (and could also be influenced by the also overblown centipede that appears in the cursed video sequence of the Gore Verbinski Ring remake, I suppose! I was slightly interested at first at the suggestion that receiving the phone call triggers this demonic visions up to the point of death, making them much more like the use of the curse in the Ring remake as being a kind of disturbing biologically triggered hallucination caused by the curse, intensifying as the deadline approaches. But then the visions appear to Sossamon's character too when she sees her friend die on the train tracks, so yes, ghosts appear to be more just wandering about in full view to anyone who would have eyes to see them in this film). Although maybe there is a bigger religious element to this film than the original, as here there is the suggestion that there are larger forces of light and darkness moving through the characters of that abusive girl and her mother. The girl herself in the nanny cam flashback footage is dressed in an all black hoodie which she pulls up as she prepares to torture her younger sister (Symbolism! And which kind of adds this film to the paranoid 'hoodie horror' trend of films from the mid to late-2000s, where younger people are demonised by wearing such threatening outfits. The One Missed Call remake is done by a French director and especially in the 'hoodie horror' moment which feels similar to Ils, it could be more in the 'French extreme' trend than the 'J-horror' one! That is actually the weird twist of a lot of US horror films of that period brought to their material, where they were influenced by the J-horror and French extreme trends from abroad but outside of The Ring and The Grudge series where they brought the original Japanese directors in to helm the US entries otherwise a lot of what should have been 'Asian horror' instead got helmed by French directors, jumbling up the tone with a different approach to horror as the visceral extremity got applied to ghostly spookiness, with variable results: Gothika and The Eye remake also come to mind). In the final twist of the film (as mentioned in another of Ed Burns' detective character's over explanatory dialogues) we get the realisation that the mother was actually protecting the main character after their moment of Beth sympathising with the corpse only for the wreathed in black older daughter to appear, spear the detective love interest through the peephole by the eyeball, and before she kills the main character instead her mother appears dressed all in white (Symbolism!), grabs her daughter and pushes her into the detective's cell phone, then gives a slightly bewildered exchange of glances and shrug to Beth about "kids today" before peace-ing out. Beth is then just left there with a shattered home and dead potential boyfriend as the detective's phone starts calling someone else instead of her (with the cut to black as the phone rings out suggesting that the next call might be
to you in the audience! Spooky!)
Similarly there is a religious angle to Beth's own childhood abuse too, with the letters presumably from her abusive mother being posted to her with the envelope covered in crucifixes. Beth tears up the first letter at the beginning of the film (into four neat quarters, that match the torn up photograph in the mother's room when they investigate it later on!) and then gets another letter just before the twist ending, which she handles warily but does not immediately tear up, as if debating whether to open it now after having had an abstract encounter with another mother figure appears to have made her feel a bit bolder in addressing her own life experiences now.
Probably the most telling failure of the film are the death scenes. The death of the early boyfriend character in the film is kind of synced up to a building site accident across the street, which feels less like One Missed Call than something out of The Omen or Final Destination! So that's rather lame, but the most telling thing is how the film handles the central exorcism scene. In the Miike film this gets used for a bit of low key satire and a comment on the parasitic nature of reality TV picking up members of the public with false promises of hope and then dropping participants back into their terrible circumstances once they have served their entertainment purposes. The theme is vaguely there in the remake too, but much more muted. Ray Wise turns up as the producer of the cheesy "American Miracles" show, which immediately suggests he will be portraying a bad guy in some fashion, but instead he is just used against type as a rather standard TV producer rather than a particularly exploitational figure, and aside from the amusing line from the exorcist "I command you in the name of God, in the name of all of His heavenly angels, to be gone from this cell phone!", the big central scene of the film is otherwise played completely straight. The exorcism is also set inside an actual church rather than a over-dressed TV stage too, which mutes the satire. And all the pre-death demonic visions don't help as the friend Taylor sees the statues come to twisted life (which I think is meant to be cheekily blasphemous, but reminded me more of that sequence in Young Sherlock Holmes!), before a smoky ghost shadow enters her body and chokes her to death. That's right, we do not even get the comically amusing twisting to death until the head pops off scene here! I think that is probably because this remake is more invested in the fight between light and darkness being a real thing (as in the climax above) than Miike's blackly comic detachment, but that kind of wrong-foots the entire point of the scene.
The idea of possession itself does not really crop up at all in this film at all, apart from Taylor having a ghost 'jump into her' to choke her in the exorcism scene. Although I guess the idea that these bigger forces swirling around the abusive girl and her mother is suggesting they are being controlled in some way, yet in the heat of the moment the film does seem to be only be saying that this particular girl is just a bit of an evil monster!
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I was impressed that the remake kept the child abuse motivation for events intact, even down to the childhood flashback peephole moments! Though it is really impossible to remake this film without any of that material, as it is so integral to the point of the story that it could not be cut out or muted. And it does prepare for the ironic twist at the end of the film, so they needed all of the other material to lead up to it. Also, why is the peephole at the front door of Beth's house set so far up the doorway that no human being could look through it? I guess to tie in with her childhood flashback of having to stand on tiptoes to look through the peephole, but unfortunately it is placed so absurdly high up in a film that is set in ostensibly 'real world' that it comes across as absurd from the first moment that it appears! (And also another difference is Beth's house, albeit shared with her friend, is absolutely enormous and it is amusing to compare the old dark house here with the extra cramped living quarters in the Japanese films, where the ghost ends up being stuffed into an overhead corner cupboard or having to hide in a shower stall!)
I guess that the filmmakers despite tackling the abuse aspects of the material did not want to push into the sadistic-romantic relationship that climaxes Miike's film (perhaps finding it
too perverse?), and the climax that they come up with here is a bit different, though it its own way it is as ironic and nasty! I think that it also may explain (though not justify!) the incredibly silly moment of the
first victim's cat getting offed as collateral (col-
cat-eral?) damage in the pre-credits sequence where both get dragged into the koi carp pond that all American homes have in their back yards, since Ed Burns' character basically ends up in the same role as that cat in the surprise ending of the film, getting the spike through the eye when he goes to the peephole compared to the spike being used more as just a jumpscare in the Miike film.
So its not great, and while it mostly follows the plot of the original film the few twists do not really justify its existence. It is not awful though, just perfunctory and going through the motions. I still prefer the Pulse remake the most out of all the US remakes of the time though because, whilst it spectacularly misses the point of the original film, it fully commits to its twisted inverted approach that makes the film into something completely different (and this is going off on a tangent but hearing stories about filmmakers in the era of 'social distancing' debating about producing films on 'virtual sets' reminded me a lot of the
two sequels to the Pulse remake, which did 'virtual sets' a decade before it was cool! It provided a weird 'fuzzy felted' quality to the actors wandering about composited into sets with the perspective a bit off in them, but for post-apocalyptic horror film sequels that quality added a nice off kilter sense to the action, even if I also got the impression that it likely was not intended to feel quite so strange!)
I also have to admit that on looking into his other work I would quite like to see the director Eric Valette's 2010 film playing on fears of cars powered by alternate forms of fuel,
Super Hybrid, sometime! It looks amusingly silly! Maybe it would work in a double bill with that Monster Trucks film!